Joe Biden Is In!

Senator Joe Biden (D) the closet plagiarizer from Delaware has thrown his hat into the ring for the office of President. Yeah! However, in a "wide ranging" interview released shortly after his announcement, Senator Biden manages to shoot a hole in his hat and hit his left foot all with one bullet!

In discussing the qualifications of his fellow democrat, Senator Obama, ole Joe said this; “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” he said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

So, I wonder what the non-mainstream inarticulate, dim witted, unclean, bad looking African-Americans are making of this comment? Nice shootin, Joe. This has to be the shortest Presidential Campaign in history. You can pick your hat up at the door.

Hole Digging 101

We all know that the first rule to be applied when one finds oneself in a hole is to "stop digging". For those of us who have not followed this worldy advice, I have a question..... Have you ever wondered "what if" I just kept on digging all the way through to the other side of the big round ball we call Earth.....where would I be?? Well, thanks to the internet, you can find out. Dig this!

Ann Baby!!!

Ann Coulter has a pointed article up about the qualifications of the current Democrat Presidential Leader. Here's an excerpt

Girl-power feminists who got where they are by marrying men with money or power — Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Arianna Huffington and John Kerry — love to complain about how hard it is for a woman to be taken seriously. It has nothing to do with their being women. It has to do with their cheap paths to power. Kevin Federline isn't taken seriously either.

It is as easy to imagine Americans voting for someone like Margaret Thatcher or Condoleezza Rice for president as it is difficult to imagine them voting for someone like Hillary. (Or Kevin Federline.) Hillary isn't piggybacking on Thatcher because she's a woman, she's piggybacking on Thatcher because Thatcher made it on her own, which Hillary did not.

Ouch! Although K-Fed is probably happy for the PR.

The Nuge.....

Ted Nugent my Michigan homeboy is responding to the critics following his appearance as the headliner at the Governor Rick Perry's Inaugural Ball. As usual it is high octane and coming at ya...

It is delicious and oh-so-healthy for an uncontrollable American Dream. My nearly 50-year gravity- and liberal-defying rhythm and blues rock ’n’ roll career would be fulfilling enough simply on a musical level. Add to the organic defiance factor of such a ferocious musical style, a lifetime of societal defiance against an overt left-wing hippie-dominated media, and I do believe I get more satisfaction from causing my brain-dead critics so much anguish with virtually zero effort.

Thank you, God. I am truly a blessed man.

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

When I'm lying on the floor, I feel like the whole world is against me.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

The prisoner had a very short sentence. He was a contemporary.

The rabbi became a professional golfer because he was good at making the cut.

Ruminations

Number 5- Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

Number 4-. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 3- Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2- In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and People take Prozac to make it normal.

Number 1- We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of Illegal immigrants and Terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Homeland Security.

Curiouser and Curiouser

Earlier in the week we here at the Chronicles posted about the company in Wisconsin named Discount-Mats that had received an inquiry from a Sergeant serving in Iraq. The Sarge wanted some sleeping mats for his troops and inquired about shipping to an APO address. The response was no AND "even if we did, we would NEVER ship to Iraq. If you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq."" Well, when I read that I assumed that it was a disgruntled liberal toiling away in the hinterlands of Wisconsin where the company is based. As Johnny Carson would say YOU are wrong mattress breath!

Research into the owners of the domain name and the website has divulged a plethora of interesting information. Seems the business is operated by a Muslim of Pakistani origin operating the business out of the basement of his parent’s home. Heidi at Euphoric Reality has delved deep in to this and has a lot of info. Really, go read the whole story….I doubt you will hear about it in the MSM …..until CAIR gets involved.

Huh?

Dennis Kucenich(Democrat Presidential Candidate) in a recent interview;

You know how they say, Don't ever ask how laws or sausages are made? Well, I can attest to the wisdom of that with the exception of kielbasa made with tofu.

Rightttt.....yeah, um, okay.

GlowBall Warming.....
it won't go away.

Yet another “report” from experts is coming out on Glowball Warming. No, not AlGore with An Inconvenient Truth II. It’s a study by;

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) will publish its report, the most complete overview of climate change science, in Paris on February 2 after a final review. It will guide policy makers combating global warming.

Sounds interesting. Let’s take a brief look at some of the findings.

The study, by a panel of 2,500 scientists who advise the United Nations, also says that dust from volcanic eruptions and air pollution seems to have braked warming in recent decades by reflecting sunlight back into space, scientific sources said.

Read that again. Please. It says that dust from volcanoes and air pollutants are good things IF you are concerned about Glowball Warming. The pollutants block the sun rays and reflect them back in to space. Yet later in the article it states

The report says it is "very likely" -- or more than a 90 percent chance -- that human activities, led by burning fossil fuels, are to blame for warming since 1950.
The previous report in 2001 said the link was "likely", or at least 66 percent. Lingering uncertainties include whether higher temperatures will bring more clouds -- their white tops bounce heat back into space.

Well, which is it? Doesn’t burning fossil fuel create air pollution? So……are the volcanic eruptions and air pollution braking Glowball Warming or not? If Air pollution brakes Glowball Warming then would it not follow that more air pollution could stop Glowball Warming? More volcanic eruptions…ditto! Then we have "lingering" uncertainties .....what if those big puffy clouds come back and further block the suns rays?

Yet, where is the logic that flows through the scientific approach? The conclusions defy logic. Perhaps there is another reason. Maybe it is political?! Maybe it is an attempt to explain away the most common deflector of the Glowball Warming argument. Volcanic eruptions. A single volcanic eruption emits pollutants at a magnitude far beyond anything man is doing. It makes AlGores global private jet hopping benign. The Glowball Warming crowd needs to explain this but they can’t. So they adopt the theory that volcanic eruptions and air pollution are good. Why not? Logic is not a factor.

So, if we accept this premise shouldn't California relax its environmental regulations? Let’s get those cars out on the highways. Build more highways! Abolish public transportation. Everyone must own an SUV.

So, in conclusion, the same crowd that cannot tell you or I what the weather will be next week with virtually any degree of certainty is releasing yet another report telling us what the weather will be years in the future. Logic be damned.

I Likes My Job.

Kerry has decided not to mount another run for the presidency. He declared that he will stay in the Senate and focus on his re-election to the seat from Taxachusetts.

The American public gave a huge sigh of ......relief.

As Sponge Bob said.....

"Ahhh, good luck with that."

So the "First 100 Hours has ended....after 3-4 weeks. The exhausted members of the House were dauntless in their efforts. One of the touted cornerstones of their agenda was an increase in the minimum wage.

You remember, the House guided by HRH Pelosi passed a bill to raise the minimum wage in the entire US and all of it's territories...except Samoa. The workers of the country, except Samoans, needed help and HRH Pelosi was in charge and in control. Except that Samoa exemption. Seems HRH Pelosi has a constituent in her Northern California district that had a problem with raising the ole minimum wage in Samoa. Del Monte corporation headquartered in San Francisco operates a tuna processing facility in Samoa named StarKist Tuna. 75% of the islands workforce is employed by StarKist Tuna. So Samoa was exempted. Surely, just a coincidence.

Oh sure, there was lots of toe tapping and shoe shuffling when this came to light last week. No story here,... let's move along,.... said the Main Stream Media and the matter headed towards obscurity.

However, recall last week when I pointed out in my Congress 101 lecture that just because HRH Pelosi and the House say it does not mean it is law. Well today the Senate voted on the minimum wage issue. Down. In. Flames.

The Senate insisted that tax breaks be inserted in their version to allow the poor small business guys who are going to get stung by the minimum wage increase something of an offset. The House said no way we don't do tax cuts. So the Senate voted and the minimum wage is histoi.

Give me tuna fish, or nothing at all.............

The Surge...

The news reports in the southland have been lauding the efforts of Los Angeles Police Chief Bratton's war on gangs. The Chief announced an increase in officers assigned to the South LA area following the killing of 14 year old Cheryl Green in December. Their efforts have resulted in a decrease in violence in the area along with an increase in arrests. The FBI is now joining the effort to coordinate the skills of both agencies. An FBI Spokesman said, "Here in Los Angeles the ratio of gang members to police officers is overwhelming," he added. "This is where we in the FBI can help."

Out numbered police battling an increase in gang related crime and their solution was a surge in officers assigned to the area. Indeed, the focused use of available resources on a defined objective seems to have provided expected results. This is a good thing for LA and their efforts should be applauded.

However, I was thinking.....how come an officer "surge" in LA is a laudable effort with proven results while a troop "surge" in Iraq is a hopeless effort with no chance of support? Hmmmmmmm? Just thinking....

Oxymoronic?*

Excluded! Because of race....in 2007.....in America! Imagine that.

As a white liberal running in a majority African American district, Tennessee Democrat Stephen I. Cohen made a novel pledge on the campaign trail last year: If elected, he would seek to become the first white member of the Congressional Black Caucus.

Well, that would seem to be appropriate.

Now that he's a freshman in Congress, Cohen has changed his plans. He said he has dropped his bid after several current and former caucus members made it clear to him that whites need not apply.

But why? You might ask.

"I think they're real happy I'm not going to join," said Cohen, who succeeded Rep. Harold Ford, D-Tenn., in the Memphis district. "It's their caucus and they do things their way. You don't force your way in. You need to be invited."
Cohen said he became convinced that joining the caucus would be "a social faux pas" after seeing news reports that former Rep. William Lacy Clay Sr., D-Mo., a co-founder of the caucus, had circulated a memo telling members it was "critical" that the group remain "exclusively African-American."

Other members, including the new chairwoman, Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick, D-Mich., and Clay's son, Rep. William Lacy Clay, D-Mo., agreed.
"Mr. Cohen asked for admission, and he got his answer. ... It's time to move on," the younger Clay said. "It's an unwritten rule. It's understood. It's clear."

So much for "I have a Dream"..........

*: a combination of contradictory or incongruous words (as cruel kindness); broadly : something (as a concept) that is made up of contradictory or incongruous elements. Merriam Webster's Dictionairy

Obama-rama Ding Dong

What drove Hillary! to announce her candidacy this early? She had been happily rolling along as the “anointed one” of the Democratic Party. A late year announcement was in the cards making her a shoein in 08. What happened? As Dick Morris is fond of saying......follow the money……Ari Emmanual, Ariana Huffington, George Soros, George Clooney have all come out in support of Barack Obama. Big Demo money is disappearing. You can almost here the vacuum cleaner sucking sound on their banks accounts. That leaves little for Hillary!, as long as she stays on the sidelines. She had to throw her hat in or miss the gravy train. Once that train leaves the station it’s hard to catch up.

This may be the Democratic hustlers way of flushing Hillary! out, one way or another. My prediction is that the Obama rocket fizzles out and Hillary! strides in. In any event it will be fun to watch this situation shake out over the next year.

A Picture....

worth a thousand words.

but, but, we support the troops....

Yeah, right. Seems a Sargent in Iraq tried to order a few sleeping mats from a Wisconsin Company called Discount-Mats. The employee responded in a most inappropriate manner Well here's the quote....

"The controversy exploded last week when a soldier, identifying himself as Sgt. Jason Hess of the Army's 1st Cavalry Division, sent an e-mail to discount-mats.com asking if it ships to military addresses.
Someone on the other end answered no, but went on to add that "even if we did, we would NEVER ship to Iraq. If you were sensible, you and your troops would pull out of Iraq.""

That's right Sarge, just pull out. Well word spreads fast with the ole Internet and now it seems the company website has, gone AWOL, a little military lingo!). Threats have been made and the company employees fear they will be harmed. That's right, they are the victims...of their own idiocy. Surely they support the Troops, just not the ability to get some rest. Kinda like the 110th Congress, they support the Troops, it's the ability to fight the war they are against.

Coffee, my ONE weakness.....

......well this could put that to the test. Seems the competiton for selling the morning cup of Joe has taken a turn in Seattle. Scantily clad "barrista's" now take your, uh..umm, order and cook up your morning special.

In a short, sheer, baby-doll negligee and coordinated pink panties, Candice Law is dressed to work at a drive-through espresso stand in Tukwila, and she is working it.

Customers pull their trucks up to the window, where Law greets each with an affectionate nickname, blows kisses, and vamps about as she steams milk for a mocha. "You want whipped cream?" she asks, a sly smile playing on her pierced lip.

So....grab the wife and c'mon down for a good ole cup of Joe! (Ed Note: where is Tukwila?!)

and HE wants an apology!

Yeah, him, that Bob Redford guy. Lives up in Utah. Made some movies, became wealthy and apparently at the same time, smart. So smart that when HE speaks us common dweebs have to listen to his opinions. Environment, animal rights activist, shill for the liberal point of view...Bob's got an opinion and by gawd, we should listen and become "enlightened". Last week Bob was opening his annual shindig in Utah called the Sundance Film Festival. He used that moment to call upon George Bush to apologize for the Iraq war. Bob knows this will make it all better.

This week Bob is hosting the opening of a film about a man and his horse. Yup, bestiality. Maybe Bob knows something we don't about the subject. Makes me wonder about that "Electric Horseman" movie he made a few years back. But, I digress. Some enlightenment, I can do without. Frankly most of what Bob has to say I can do without.

However, far be it from me to be critical here in the age of "Pelosi", so let me just say, thanks for all you do for us, Bob. Oh, on that apology thing...don't hold your breath. In the meantime, keep up the good work.............

UPDATE: January 23rd
Now we can see a film that spotlights teen rape and child abuse. Thanks Bob! You da man! Can someone please hire this guy for a movie.....he clearly has too much free time on his hands.

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

If a town's people have low IQs is the population dense?

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
A circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny.

GlowBall Warming, Uh Oh.....

Now it is serious.....

Taking a well deserved break from her grueling "First 100 Hours" schedule (which has now lasted about 3 and a half weeks) HRH Pelosi has announced the establishment of a special committee to solve the GlowBall Warming problem.

Their first order of business will be to decided whether or not it is GlowBall Warming or GlowBall Cooling. I have every confidence that the Dem's will find an answer that allows them to have it both ways...it's just their "nature"! No doubt they will scurry to their Gulfstream IV's to travel the world in search of solutions. Will Al Gore, Environmental Expert, be testifying?

While this may be well and good Ole John Dingell (D) Michigan has his knickers in a knot because HE is the Chairman of the House Energy & Commerce Committee. Seems his turf, or "environment" as the case may be, is being violated by HRH Pelosi.

If Mother Nature has a sense of humor, now would be a grand time to have several volcano's erupt and prove once again the folly of man, driving a Prius. Zoom, zoooom.......

Wings v Jackets Tonite!

A couple of quick games before the All Star rest......Columbus tonite and the Avalanche on Saturday!!! Hope those fans in the Blue Line seats keep their heads down tonite!

Go Wings!

It's Aloha Friday.......

no work till Monday. Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the internet with KPOA!

Living Will:

Last night, Mrs. Bear and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.

"She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my rum.....

Glowball Warming/Cooling.....

So if a warm December means the planet is melting from global warming, does a cold January mean it's a new Ice Age? Just asking.......

Hat tip to Denny for the foto.

Michelle's Back!

Home from Iraq and posting with fotoes. Check her out!

It's All Bush's Fault.....

Yup, the economy that is. Check out this article. Seems the prognosticators are having to revise the numbers as the economy booms along. I can hardly wait for the 110th Congress to get wind of this and figure out how they can take credit for it.....maybe even in the First 100 Hours!

A National Holiday!?

It's "Talk Like Jack Bauer Day" and it's a National Holiday! Coincidence? Me thinks NOT!

Wings v Le Habitants'

An Original Six matchup on a Monday nite......They'll be rockin at The Joe!!!

Go Wings!

Monday's Pun(s)!

Have you heard the joke about the airplane? No. Well, it was way over your head anyway.

Gravity, it's always putting everyone down.

Patients usually feel better after receiving hand transplants.

Most rules of thumb suck.

For health conscious individuals, eating prunes is the way to go.

Nice Patch!

You can get yours here!

It's Been a Good Week...

I'm outta here! Have a great weekend.

It's Aloha Friday.......



.....no work till Monday. Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the internet with KPOA!

T-Minus 78 Hours and Counting...

A little NASA lexicon for ya on the ole First, er, just "100 Hours. Seems HRH Pelosi has a cool clock on her website. Go here and we can all watch the hands of time. Well, okay, not really the hands cause it's a digital clock. However there is a checklist, with check marks and everything! Wow!

So I am perusing the list of goals and it passes through my carnivore brain the House may pass these worthy things but we still need to have the Senate take similar action and then they meet in committee and then it goes to the President for signing. Otherwise, this is all .... what?, let' see....pomp without circumstance? Be that as it may, let's breeze on over to the Senate and see if Harry Reid has the minions whipped into shape during their 100 Hours or whatever they call it. Certainly with a (50 + 1 Coma Vote) - 49 majority the place is humming like a well oiled machine.

Well the first thing you notice is there is no clock for the Senate. My guess is being dignified statesman they know that good law works at it's own pace. So what have they voted on...let's go to the headlines... "Democrats fumble earmarks legislation" Hmmm, as the kid in graphics says What's up with that?

Senators jump ship, vote with GOP on tougher rules for pet projects in bills. The Senate's new Democratic leaders, the fragility of their thin majority on display for the first time, were set back Thursday when nine Democrats joined with Republicans in support of stricter House-passed rules on lawmakers' pet projects
Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., was forced to delay a final vote on a measure he opposes after losing 51-46 a parliamentary attempt to kill it.

Seems to be a bit of discord in the ole Senate. No mention on when they will get to HRH Pelosi's list of deeds. Maybe she could loan them her clock when she's through with it. Until then it appears we will have pomp without circumstance. Order up!

Nancy Pelosi....Hypocrit?!

Well, well, well........

On Wednesday, the House voted to raise the minimum wage from $5.15 to $7.25 per hour.

The bill also extends for the first time the federal minimum wage to the U.S. territory of the Northern Mariana Islands. However, it exempts American Samoa, another Pacific island territory that would become the only U.S. territory not subject to federal minimum-wage laws. One of the biggest opponents of the federal minimum wage in Samoa is StarKist Tuna, which owns one of the two packing plants that together employ more than 5,000 Samoans, or nearly 75 percent of the island's work force.

StarKist's parent company, Del Monte Corp., has headquarters in San Francisco, which is represented by Mrs. Pelosi. The other plant belongs to California-based Chicken of the Sea.

Read the whole article here. Draw your own conclusion as you nosh on a tuna sandwich at lunch time.

INDEED.

Just saw this one over at Cox & Forkum.

Go Chargers!

Well, Jennifer in the "Customer Service Department" here at the Chronicles just got an e-mail from Mrs. Bear regarding my plugging of the Red Wings for a "simple season game" tonite. Seems her team, the Chargers, have some kind of playoff game this weekend. In any event the ole "equal time" argument was proffered and Jennifer advises that I need to correct this tout de suite "....or suffer". She said that was a quote. That being the case, Arlo, in Tech Support came up with this cool poster and we all collectively gathered and chanted .....

GO CHARGERS!!

and now back to your regularly scheduled programing.....

Hockeyball!

Center Ice Package......The gift just keeps on giving!

Go Wings!!!

The President’s Speech

As you listen to the twaddle being spouted by HRH Pelosi and her ilk following the Presidents speech last night keep this in mind: It is not their fear that the plan will fail that motivates the opposition, it is the fear that it might succeed.

The Democrats cannot afford to have Bush prevail in Iraq. A victory in Iraq will only help the party out of power in the next election. The goal is to drag out the quagmire in Iraq for another two years to use it as capital in the next election cycle.

How can you say that Rumbear? Well, let’s look at the facts.

Recall the election in November? Cindy Sheehan? The Democrats ran on getting the troops out of Iraq. Indeed, Cindy Sheehan disrupted the press conference of Rahm Emmanuel (D) Ill. as recently as January 4th with chants to bring the troops home.

Yet, after the election we got a lot of shoe shuffling and retrospection. Hmmm, if we bring the troops home what will be the issue for the next two years. Well maybe that’s not the best “strategery” for our party. So we had leading Democrats shifting gears and calling for more troops. Remember that? Well, now they got it and guess what, they are no longer for it. Go here for a full round up of those who were “for the troop surge before they were against it”.

A cynic might postulate that the Democratic position is simply; If Bush is for it, we're against it. Clearly, it is not about what’s good for the country, and it’s about what’s good for the Democrats. Quite simply, a failed war benefits them, a victory does not.

We have platitudes from Harry Reid and HRH Pelosi that the “First 100 Hours” is coming…leadership is just around the corner….just wait until we start that clock…..oh boy, are you gonna see some action……a plan, yeah, that’s the ticket, a plan!

President Bush gave a speech as a leader last night. He laid out his solution. There’s the old adage, lead, follow or get outta the way.

Meanwhile…….Tick Tock, Nancy Baby, TICK TOCK.

Pearls of Wisdom

“A pistol is what you use to get back to your rifle”–Clint Smith

"If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free." -- P.J. O'Rourke

Money can't buy you happiness. But it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. (David Lee Roth)

Only in America do we have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

My mother taught me 'irony' as she explained, "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

Any ship can be a minesweeper ... .. . once.” (Admiral Hornblower)

Cymbalic?

Well, I guess if you have no plan of your own you break out the cymbals and play to the loudmouth up in the bleachers.

"Democratic leaders said Tuesday that they intended to hold symbolic votes in the House and Senate on President Bush’s plan to send more troops to Baghdad, forcing Republicans to take a stand on the proposal and seeking to isolate the president politically over his handling of the war."


Oh, THAT Symbolic! Never mind.

Jason Bourne, Call Your Office....

Seems things are ramping up at the ole CIA. Time for the boys to have a little "covert" fun with Hizbollah. I love having to read the foreign newspapers to learn this. Yet it is a burden I shoulder for you, the loyal reader.

"The Central Intelligence Agency has been authorised to take covert action against Hizbollah as part of a secret plan by President George W. Bush to help the Lebanese government prevent the spread of Iranian influence. Senators and congressmen have been briefed on the classified "non-lethal presidential finding" that allows the CIA to provide financial and logistical support to the prime minister, Fouad Siniora."

I am suprised HRH Pelosi has not issued a policy statement ......yet.

"First 100 Hours" Starts Today!

Of course, it’s not really the “first” 100 Hours, so they have dropped that. Then it’s not really 100 consecutive hours, cause being Congress peoples, they only work 4-5 hours a day. So with the watches wound, calendars in hand, wheels patched and bearings greased here comes the Democratic juggernaut of political reform. Weeeee!

"The Democrats intend to lead the most honest, most open, and most ethical Congress in history," Pelosi said. Honest? Please. Open? That ones out the window as the Dems ram through legislation without debate. Most ethical…. John Conyer, Alcee Hastings, William Jefferson …need I go on?

Is anyone else sensing a trend here? Seems the tactic of HRH Pelosi is to give something, anything, a name and then do exactly what she wants. If you say it’s honest and open and forthright often enough maybe folks will believe. Certainly the MSM will report it that way. This isn’t anything new kids, it’s the same ole same ole. More platitudes and rhetoric ….. Daniel Patrick Moynihan said it best waaaaay back in 1994, it’s just “boob bait for the bubbas”

So pull up a chair Bubba and let’s watch in amazement as the 110th Congress grapples with Lord knows what over the next 100 hours or so, give or take a few days, or weeks. It'll be fun!

Monday's Pun(s)!

Tires cost 100 bucks a pop.

The science teachers broke up because there was no chemistry between them.

Sweet potatoes? I yam impressed!

And finally, in honor of da Kahuna who has returned from yet another grueling trip to Kauai........

How does a Hawaiian baritone laugh?.....A Low Ha!

Robert Service?

An old grey bear,
alone in the winter woods
To hurt to sleep, to tired to care.
But show some caution,
he's still
a bear.

Donations....

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS ...BUT THERE ARE MORE CHURCHES THAN CASINOS. NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS. THEY SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN AND CASHED IN. THIS IS DONE BY CHIPMONKS.


OH, I'M SO SORRY ...YOU DIDN'T EVEN SEE THIS COMING, DID YOU ? !!

Hat tip to Gator for that one!

Oh, THAT 100 Hours...

Sheesh! Well it seems that Nancy, the anointed one, has declared that the "First 100 Hours" will not include any of the ruminations over the vaunted "House Rules Package" that will be debated, er dictated, to the poltroons in the "first" days of the 110th Congress. Those hours will be credited to some other worthy goal.......sorta like the "player to be named later" The "First 100 Hours" is now slated to start on January 8th and run 10 "legislative" days (ed note: Huh?) up to the President's (remember him?) State of the Union speech on January 23rd.

Okay. Let us review. The "First 100 Hours" will begin the second week of the legislative session and will be based upon "legislative hours" which apparently takes about 15 normal days. So by the end of their first month in congress will have worked about 2 and 1/2 weeks in real time. Grueling.........

The Boys Are Back in Town.......

Key West Race Week is set to kick off on January 15th. Da Bear was last there in 1998. A week of hard sailing and sleep deprivation. We had the lead in our division for most of the week. Tanked the last two races and finished 5th or 6th. I blame the rum. Lot's of fun...may need to do it again.......

Pelosi breaks 'marble ceiling'

Whoooooooo I'm all tingly! Expectations are high as the Democrats seize the reigns of power and attempt to decide which foot to shoot at first. The 110th Congress brings with it all of the trepidation of watching a NASCAR race. Outwardly, I say I am only here to observe the fine exhibition of motor sport, while inwardly I must confess, I can't wait for the first car crash!

So let's watch our "distinguished" leaders assemble and "lead" the nation as they were anointed to do. C'mon Nancy!! Break that ceiling with one of your $1,200.00 a pair Manolo Blahniks!! No scuff marks!

100 Hours....

Several of you have written lately inquiring as to the paucity of piercing, yet witty, political commentary here in the Chronicles over the past few weeks. Well, a hiatus was imposed over the holidays to allow our beleaguered staff to gear up for what is sure to be an exciting two years ramping towards the 08 elections. Some down time was in order to christen a new boat, golf, field test 900 rounds of ammo and otherwise enjoy the family.

Fear not, for we have the utmost confidence in our new "overlords" generating enough fodder for all to enjoy in the coming months. "Democrats are prepared to govern and ready to lead," said Pelosi, a Californian. Indeed.

Buckle up your seat belts, cinch down your helmets and get ready. As Hunter Thompson once said "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the 110th Congress. Let the games begin.

UPDATE: 1:39 PST
You thought I was kidding...it's gonna be a target rich environment.......here's a quick roundup.
Leaky Leahy
Osama Obama
Ellison the Muslim
Johnson, aka The Great Last Vote
The Imperial Leader
Democrats & Ethics! (?)

UPDATE: 2:59 PST

Protestors Disrupt Press Conference

House Democrats tried to unveil their lobbying reform package today, but their press conference was drowned out by chants from anti-war activists who want Congress .......

Hey 19....

22 years...Thank You!

The Curmudgeon....

One website that Da Bear cheques out daily is "Scuttlebutt". Keeps my sailing jones at bay while I toil away. The daily posts end with an observation. Todays was prolific, given the recent New Year and the non-stop yappin for weight reduction/get healthy/stop smokin/stop drinking/sit up straight, blah, blah, blah....ad nauseum.


CURMUDGEON’S OBSERVATION:
Athletics Anonymous is a great service. If you ever get the urge to run around the block, you can dial an 800 number and a guy comes over to drink with you until the urge passes.

Athletics Anonymous.....now that's a service Da Bear could use! Waiter!

Dude, Nice Hat!



Your humble scribe received one of these from Mrs. Bear for Christmas.


Must be a lucky wing nut...Wings beat the Kings 6-2 last nite.

Red Wings Rule!

Pun Fest 2007

Let's welcome 2007 with some heartfelt groans!!!

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

Isn't the Grand Canyon just gorges?

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

When the human cannonball retired they couldn't find a replacement of the right caliber.

It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.

She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The cannibal's cookbook titled 'How to Better Serve Your Fellow Man' was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.

When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Take Off!!

Wishing you the best for the New Year!