For Your Edification....
DEMOCRATICYou have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you.
REPUBLICANYou
have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You show your neighbor how he
too can have a cow and offer to help him take care of it. Your neighbor
demands "free" milk.
SOCIALIST
You
have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
The government forms a cooperative to tell you both how to manage your
cows.
COMMUNIST
You have
two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. You
wait in line for hours to get it.It is expensive and sour.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE You
have two cows. Under the new farm program the government pays you to
shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.
AMERICAN CORPORATION
You
have two cows.You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on
the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows.
You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to
the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses. Your
stock goes up.
FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.You go to lunch and drink wine.Life is good.
JAPANESE CORPORATION You
have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.They learn to travel on
unbelievably crowded trains. Most are at the top of their class at cow
school.
GERMAN CORPORATION
You have
two cows. You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer,
give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.
ITALIAN CORPORATION You
have two cows but you don't know where they are. While ambling around,
you see a beautiful woman. You break for lunch. Life is good.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION You
have two cows. You have some vodka. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You have some more vodka. You count them again and learn you
have 42 cows. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
really have.
TALIBAN CORPORATION You
have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two. You don't milk them
because you cannot touch any creature's private parts. You get a $40
million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk
production
but use the money to buy weapons.
IRAQI CORPORATION You have two cows. They go into hiding. They send radio tapes of their mooing.
POLISH CORPORATION You have two bulls. Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.
BELGIAN CORPORATION You
have one cow. The cow is schizophrenic. Sometimes the cow thinks he's
French, other times he's Flemish. The Flemish cow won't share with the
French cow. The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk. The
cow asks permission to be cut in half. The cow dies happy.
FLORIDA CORPORATION
You
have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking
one. Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote for the black one. Some people vote for both.Some
people vote for neither. Some people can't figure out how to vote at
all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you
think is the best-looking cow.
CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You
have millions of cows. They make real California cheese. Only five
speak English. Most are illegals. Jerry Brown likes the ones with the big
udders. He taxes the five that speak English.
Another Shoe Drops... 
