Monday's Pun(s) !!!

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

Farmers are real experts - they are often outstanding in their field.

A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing.

New Year's Pun(s) !!!!!!

A good pun is its own reword

I don't think I was concentrating properly when midnight struck on January 1st. It just went in one era and out the other.

If you write bad things about me I am libel to sue you.

Joe refused to eat sushi because it looks fishy.

I stole someone else's idea for a stage drama. Am I a playgiarist?

And finally…

Subdued: A surfer guy on a submarine...

2008!

Well, I did my part. And you.....?

Hau'oli Makahiki Hou!

Time to sit on the lanai and toast the year that has past while looking forward to the hope and promise of 2008.

Benazir Bhutto, RIP.

So you want to know what Al Quaeda thinks about Democracy, rights for all and simply having a choice in your vote? Look to Pakistan. What a mess. In a deal brokered by the US State Department she came home to once again lead her country as her father. Death awaited. Surprised? No, but shocking nevertheless.

From across the pond Mr. Freemarket put it best;

However, we wont beat these ba*tards by sitting back & hoping that the screeching moral indignation of the Guardian’s editorial column will bring democracy, freedom & prosperity to those parts of the World that don’t already enjoy such privileges ... That will take high velocity ammunition & laser guided bombs ...So the next time that some troops out siren starts gobbing off about Iraq or Afghanistan, its worth while pointing to Benazir Bhutto’s smouldering remains & reminding them that this is why we fight

Rest in peace.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The Rumbear clan is off to celebrate the holiday. Hold your loved ones and reflect on the troops abroad. Cherish the season and all it brings. I wish you and yours and safe and Merry Christmas!

Monday's Christmas Eve Pun(s) !!!!

Christmas is the time of year when women get Santamental.

Christmas is the time of year when mother has to separate the men from the toys.

Christmess: Five minutes after the gifts are opened.

Scrooge loves all the reindeer equally, because every buck is dear to him.

Apposition and Concordance..

The Rumbear was up early. Oh dark thirty with cold clear skies and the full moon sinking into the Pacific. The dawn of a new day was ready to explode forth on the opposite horizon. Loaded Bailey D. Dawg into the Landrover and headed up to Mt. Soledad for the moment.

Sunrise. Moonset. Reminded me of the Jimmy Buffet tune "the sun and the moon seem to acknowledge each other and they moved in both apposition and concordance in a breath taking dance of light..."

Breath taking, indeed.

FRED!

The man has been scoring points in the past week. Fundraising, key endorsements and moving up in the polls. Check out "He's Finally Freddy for Prime Time" for details. Certainly you saw his "I'm not doing any hand shows toady" moment at the debate. Some think this will be his "I'm paying for this microphone moment of the campaign. We will see. Nevertheless a powerful statement when the rest of the lemmings who would be President were subjugated by a schoolmarm turned debate moderator. How do you expect them to stand up to the leaders of Korea and Iran when a they can't say "not today" to an uppity moderator. Here's a quick "No Hats" video that plays on that moment.

Finally, with all the hub bub of the holidays the candidates are all getting their greetings out prattling on about how they support the troops, god, 2nd amendment, Christianity and whatever else will pander to your senses. With this in mind take a moment and watch this one.

I know who I want for president, do you?

It's Aloha Friday...
...no work till Monday!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

Maybe not so much on Monday either because it's Christmas Eve!! That's right I'm talking FOUR day weekend with presents!!!! Working on the Jeep, a little backyard work and the season of hope comes to a crescendo!!!! All the best to you from us hear at the Rumbear Chronicles......Let the Holidaze begin!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"
Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

Concerned.

I was over at Mr. Freemarket's place and spotted this....and they call me MISTER Sensitivity!

Marlboro or Virginia Slims?

Hmmmmm......

Perhaps something we can all support or at least enjoy trying?! I'm just asking.

I cant' make this stuff up. Well, I could, but it would not be as .....oh never mind.

See, I Told You So.....

Pretty smug eh?! Well, another nugget of truth has leaked out on GlowBall Warming and it ain't good for the true believers. The U. S. Senate report released today state, "Over 400 Prominent Scientists Disputed Man-Made Global Warming Claims in 2007". Imagine that.

Yes it seems that the long touted "consensus" theory of GlowBall warming has some difficulty holding up under the olde microscope of truth.

The over 400 skeptical scientists featured in this new report outnumber by nearly eight times the number of scientists who participated in the 2007 UN IPCC Summary for Policymakers. The notion of "hundreds" or "thousands" of UN scientists agreeing to a scientific statement does not hold up to scrutiny.

We here at the Rumbear Chronicles are teachers, smug ones, yet teachers we be. As teachers we can only show the facts and encourage our dear readers to educate themselves through perusal and independent thought. As my olde pal Mikey use to say, "You can hold a horses head under water, but you can't make em drink".

Wisdom is yours. Choose to embrace it.

UPDATE: Denny get's it.

Gifts.

Why it was just yesterday that I was cruising around in one my large SUV's, stomping on the terra with a carbon footprint the size of, of..but, I digress... As I was driving, I spied a bumper sticker that said...."It's the thought that counts, not the gift... but couldn't people think a little bigger?". Thus, with a hearty chuckle, I acknowledged that the spirit of the season, be that as it may, twas upon us.

Today, I am reading various blogs (so you don't have to) and I dropped in on my favorite Lumberjack site. Reading this posting I could not help but reflect that perhaps the Lumberjack, much less the site, may not be long for this earth. Perhaps bigger would be better?

Nevertheless, a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho would seem to be in order!!

Oh Please......

He is known as the "hard man" of climate-change negotiation.

But after 12 exhausting days of trying to reach a worldwide agreement on reducing greenhouse gas emissions, it was suddenly all too much for Yvo de Boer.

As the 200-nation Bali conference wrangled over a minor procedural matter, the Dutch diplomat in charge of the talks burst into tears and had to be led away by colleagues.

Then he got on his jet and flew his Dutch rear end home and lived happily ever after.

Hard man, indeed........

Christmas Pun(s) !!!!!

The pun machine is fired up so while we're at it....

What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This will sleigh you.

Ah! Christmas! The one day of the year we can all say our children are truly gifted!

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? In a snow bank.

James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus. It is titled The Deer Sleigher.

How come you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive? Yeah, you know... Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...

HAPPY HOLLYDAZE!!!

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

Back when the news was written on clay tablets there was a lot of breaking news.

When a cow gives birth she is de-calf-inated.

Teachers who take class attendance are absent-minded.

God, Bless em....

Every December for the past 15 years, Morrill Worcester, owner of one of the world's largest holiday wreath companies, has taken time in the midst of his busiest season to haul a truckload of wreaths to Arlington from his small Downeast Maine town of Harrington.

Worcester, 56, says he wants to help Americans remember and honor deceased military veterans, particularly at Christmas, when they're missed most. On the Wreaths Across America website, he makes this comment: "When people hear about what we're doing, they want to know if I'm a veteran. I'm not. But I make it my business never to forget."

On Thursday he looked at the crowd of volunteers — five times as many as last year's — and said, "I didn't realize there were this many people that felt like I do."

The signs on the side of the semi read “We make it our business to Never Forget.”

Never forget. Words to live by.

IOWA!

My name is Bill and I'm here to help.....

As my olde pal Hunter Thompson once said "It still isn't weird enough for me". Well, Hunter's gone and we have the Hillary campaign pulling out all the stops......Huckabee has hired Ed Rollins who states at his first press appearance, that the Huckabee job is "the only campaign I've been in with no doughnuts and no booze."

........stick around kids, things are heating up!

It's Aloha Friday...
...no work till Monday!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

Christmas shopping almost done. Little backyard work to do.......Let the weekend begin!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"
Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

+

=

Outta Here!!!

Democratic Debate!

...move a long...nothing to see here...move along.

Reading List

Each December we here at the Chronicles like to reflect on the year and peruse the books that have been read. More often than not it seems that the olde Rumbear selects a topic and dives in. Two years ago it was Teddy Roosevelt (6 books in 7 weeks). Last year a Bush Pilot reading extravaganza. This year WWII in the Pacific was a topic of note. For a number of years Douglas Mac Arthur was a God. Fascinating stuff. Then we got back to basics with what else...flying.. But, I digress. So here's my list for 2007. Recommendations are marked with a "**"

What have you read?

Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters By: Meg Meeker
The Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming By Christopher Horner
Nine Lives of An Alaska Bush Pilot By Ken Eichner
The California Lemon Law: When Your New Vehicle Goes Sour
American Caeser: General Douglas MacArthur By William Manchester
William “Bull” Halsey By E. B. Potter
The Barbarian Way: Unleash the Untamed Faith By Erwin McManus
State of Fear By Michael Crichton
The Last Lion: Winston Spencer Churchill By William Manchester
Nimitz and His Admirals By Edwin Hoyt
Lone Survivor By Marcus Luttrell**
Advanced Pilots Flight Manual By William Kershner
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows By Mrs. Potter
The Forgotten Man: A History of the Great Depression By Amity Shales
Flying Carpet By Gregory Brown
The Savvy Flight Instructor By Gregory Brown
Riding Rockets By Mike Mullane
First Man ;The Life of Neil Armstrong By James Hansen**
4 Hour Work Week By Timothy Ferris
The Air Force Academy Candidate Book By William Smallwood
Best Short Hike’s in the South Sierra’s By Karen Whitehill
Climbing Mt. Whitney in One Day By Sharon Baker
Rickles Book By (Who did ya think ya Hockey Puck!) Don Rickles

He's Baaaack!

The Gun Guy is back after having traveled across the pond for several weeks traipsing around the continent observing socialists. All seems well and he is, shall we say, cranky as ever! Today he has trained his sights on the GlowBall Warming hoedown in Bali.....

So in essence, we are participating in a conference whose very rationale is being increasingly debunked as hysteria by study after study.

Why is the U.S. giving this crap some ill-deserved credence by even being there?

It’s like attending a study on curbing the evils of witchcraft when science proves that there’s no such thing in the first place.

Indeed. Welcome home Kim.

Talk Amongst Yourselves...

Revenue dancing, bottom line enhancing, I'll be back later.

Here's a Nautical Timewaster for you from MadMariner.

Pope to Goreacle...

STFU!

This is priceless. Carbon offsets notwithstanding, the hoi poloi of the GlowBall Warming crowd have directed their private jets to Bali to hold a BIG shindig on .... GLOWBALL WARMING! Stories of doom and gloom are being spun out as quickly as reporters can type. Contradictions abound......The Arctic is melting, yet, the Midwest is suffering from an ice storm...The head of the United Nations says that the world risks "oblivion" if no agreement is reached, yet today, we are told "UN chief says gas cut targets might be too ambitious for Bali climate conference". An international team of scientists flies to Bali to confront the true believers on GlowBall Warming and ...they can't get in to the conference. So much for debate.

Finally, the Pope. Yup, the Big Kahuna of the Catholic church weighs in. The Readers Digest version of his statement...Yo Goreacle, Shaduppa you face! That's right the Pope is daring to challenge the Goreacle...

Pope Benedict XVI has launched a surprise attack on climate change prophets of doom, warning them that any solutions to global warming must be based on firm evidence and not on dubious ideology.

Read the whole thing here.

So much for consensus!

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

Christmas dinner is a place where you can really talk turkey

The skunk is an animal of distinktion.

Amenities - the Greek goddess of luxury.

Hypocrite

Main Entry:

hyp·o·crite

Pronunciation:

\ˈhi-pə-ˌkrit\

Function:

noun

Etymology:

Middle English ypocrite, from Anglo-French, from Late Latin hypocrita, from Greek hypokritēs actor, hypocrite, from hypokrinesthai

Date:

13th century

1 : a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2 : a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings

— hypocrite adjective

It's Aloha Friday...
...no work till Monday!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

More liquid sunshine has come to town, the Pointers are in the Division IV playoffs today, Red Wings at 4:30 pm. Let the weekend begin!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"
Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

December 7, 1941

Never forget.....66 years ago. Take a moment today, pause, reflect and give thanks to those who gave all.

Check out Lex.

Overheard....

I bought a teddy bear today for $5.00, named him Mohammed then sold him on E-Bay for $12.50. Question is, have I made a prophet?

The Little Angel .....

on the Top of the Christmas Tree.

Sensitive folks that we are, all of us here at the Chronicles embrace the Holidaze. Thus, each year a Christmas (Yes, Christmas) Story is in order. Here's one of the Rumbear's favorites.

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit; this stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out at heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made of. More stress and frustration.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree.

CHEERS!

It's Repeal Day! Huh? Listen up, as if we here at the Chronicles needed a reason to drink.....

Repeal Day is not widely celebrated in this country, yet it commemorates the anniversary of the day the United States repealed the Eighteenth Amendment and gave Americans the constitutional ability to consume alcohol.

So let's get with it people.......get out there and celebrate! (Just leave my Rum alone!)

NOW, we believe them?

Several e-mails from our, uh um, more "progressive" readers, (their term, read: liberals) have been inquiring (incessantly) as to the Rumbear's take on the National Intelligence Estimates (NIE) finding that Iran halted it's nuclear program in 2003. A little attempt to parry with the olde bear on some political thought.

Nice try.

See, I stumble over this FACT that the current finding contradicts the NIE findings of 2005. Thus, I am compelled to ask WHY are they right now? Isn't this one of the same groups that said Saddam had "weapons o mass destruction"? Hmmmmmm? Now, we believe them? Why?

I'm just asking.......

Your Gov't Fixes GlowBall Warming

Above is a chart created by Senator Kit Bond that explains the bill being considered by the Congress TODAY.

Lieberman-Warner Climate Security Act of 2007. This chart here is a diagram of the bill’s requirements, new agencies and new programs. The first thing one notices is how extremely complicated and far-reaching this proposal is. Rube Goldberg would be proud, as several members will focus upon.

I want to focus upon the red blocks at the top. Unfortunately, they are not just blocks - they represent millions of families, farmers, drivers and workers who will pay higher heating bills, suffer more pain at the pump, and lose more jobs because of this bill.

The bill’s sponsors themselves admit this bill will cost our families and workers hundreds of billions of dollars. Where will that money go?

It will flow out of the pockets of our families, farmers, drivers and workers at the top here in red, through those pass thru entities in orange, thru EPA and the new Climate Change Credit Corporation in black and out to all of these new government programs and causes here in blue and purple.

Pray for us.

Life Ain't Easy for a Boy Named Hsu....

The latest in a long line of Chinese mega donors to a Clinton, i.e. not just Hillary, campaign has been indicted. Norman Hsu the millionaire donation "bundler" has been charged in a 15 count indictment. Think Yah Lin "Charlie" Trie, Johnny Chung, Buddhist Monks for AlGore........

etc, etc, etc............

So Much for the Shiny Nose....

The jolly jokers over at Slacker Aviation sent me this one.

A Tale of Two Dictator's...

Hugo No!

Putin Si!

In a heretofore unseen moment of clarity the good folks of Venvuela smacked down their thug dictator Hugo Chavez by rejecting his "reform" platform this past weekend. The boys over at Power Line have an entry that questions the veracity of calling the attempted power grab by Chavez "reform".

Humbled by his first electoral defeat ever, President Hugo Chavez said Monday he may have been too ambitious in asking voters to let him stand indefinitely for re-election and endorse a huge leap to a socialist state.

"Humbled"? Don't bet on it. Ticked off, PO'd, mad as hell, maybe. Humbled...me thinks not. Just wait and see how this plays out.

"I understand and accept that the proposal I made was quite profound and intense," he said after voters narrowly rejected the sweeping constitutional reforms by 51 percent to 49 percent.

51-49 percent....in this country the Democrats would call that a mandate! (Sorry, I couldn't resist)

Meanwhile, over in Russia, Vladimir Putin celebrated his decisive victory in their version of an election. However, not everyone was convinced of the legitimacy of the results

European election monitors said Monday that Russia's parliamentary ballot was unfair, hours after President Vladimir Putin's party swept 70 percent of the seats in the new legislature.
The victory paves the way for Putin to remain Russia's de facto leader even after he leaves office next spring. On Monday, Putin described the weekend's election as a vote of confidence in him.

Gary Kasparov called the elections the dirtiest elections in the nation's history.

There are no illusions that what is being called elections was the most unfair and dirtiest in the whole history of modern Russia," Kasparov said at a news conference, pointing at reports of massive vote violations.

Dirtiest elections in the nation's history, (??) the Czar and Czarina were unavailable for comment. Yet, the new president for life put the opposition at ease simply by declaring the "...parliamentary elections "legitimate" and thanked voters for a large turnout he says reflected the country's growing economic and political strength." Now shut up and go home or I'll........

There you have it .... A Tale of Two Dictator's. Clearly one of them did not do so well in the how to rig an election class at the Great Dictator Academy. Stay tuned folks, stay tuned.

Rule Britania!*

*(not)

The British Defense Secretary has released a report on the status of the British Fleet. The victors of Trafalgar with their long history of naval warfare are suffering, from years of cutbacks.

The Royal Navy can no longer fight a major war because of years of under­funding and cutbacks, a leaked Whitehall report has revealed. Last night, Liam Fox, the shadow Tory defence secretary, said: "We have come all the way from Lord Nelson to a part-time defence secretary, with the consequence that the Royal Navy now finds itself in the most degenerated state in which it has ever been. Labour, (i.e. LIBERALS) has done what none of this countries' enemies have been able to do: bring the Navy to its knees." [Emphasis added]

Recall the days of yore when the sun never set on the British Empire. The British Navy ruled the sea ostensibly for the good of all. Valor, blood sweat and tears only to be done in by the budget cuts of the socially naive & politically myopic.

Et tu America? et tu..........

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

When longshoremen show up late for work they get docked.

I bought me some of those new paper shirts. I don't like them - they're tearable.

If we don't conserve water we could go from one ex-stream to another.

Hokey Toot!

700 posts in the life of this blog!!! Woooowhoooo!!! This one snuck up on me. Many thanks to all of our loyal readers....yes, both of you! Drinks are on me the rest of the afternoon.

Now in my line of work
I seem to see a lot more than most
Write 'em down, pass 'em around
It's the gospel from the coast
Reflections not just replays
Takin' time to escape the maze ......
"Floridays" by JB.

Buy One!

Hell, buy two! We love bears here at the Chronicles! Celebrate the latest ruling brought to you by "the religion of peace" and it's followers. Do it in the name of tolerance.

It's Aloha Friday...

...no work till Monday!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

Some liquid sunshine has come to town and the weekend planned festivities are up in the air. Lemons to lemonaide....may be an opportunity to get out and work on the Instrument Rating in some hard IFR! Have a great weekend!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"

Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

Murtha the Thug

Pork barrel, antiwar, Marine convicting, politician, Jack, the only "ex marine", Murtha, has once again inserted foot in mouth and chomped down hard. You may recall, here and here, ole Murtha, you know the guy convicting the Marines of Haditha as murderers, (they were acquitted, awaiting apology) and railing non-stop against the surge since January...here's a quote...

"Well it's delusional to say the least," Murtha told CNN's Wolf Blitzer. "As I said earlier, and you heard me say it, it's a failed policy wrapped in illusion. Nothing's gotten better. Incidents have increased. We have had more Americans killed in the last four months than any other period during the war."

Yeah him. That's the guy. Well he's had a change of mind. In a recent interview he state that the "surge is working."

Welcome home Captain Obvious.

Yet, the his comments are troubling. Why? Because they are now contrary to those of HRH Nancy Peelosi. This could be a huge problem for Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) and other Democratic leaders, who are blocking approval of the full $200 billion being sought by President Bush for combat operations in Iraq in 2008.

Yup. Winning in Iraq does not fit into the Democratic plan so,....... it's a bad thing. When your party is heavily invested in an American defeat in Iraq, speaking to the contrary is going to get you a trip to the woodshed. So even when a nimrod like Murtha finally gets something right (see: Blind Squirrel Finds Nut) he's in the doghouse with HRH Peelosi!

But Pelosi, who is scheduled to speak to a Democratic National Committee event in Virginia on Friday, will surely face tough questions from reporters regarding Murtha's statement on the surge. "This could be a real headache for us," said one top House Democratic aide, speaking on the condition of anonymity. "Pelosi is going to be furious."

The US of A is winning and HRH Peelosi is furious. Democrats. Ugh.

Today's Timewaster

You pilot's out there are gonna hate us. Why? Because anybody can fly a helicoptor, right?



I got to 577....

The Truth

We all know the real reason Bill Clinton has suddenly appeared on the campaign trail stumping, and flip-flopping for his wife.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

D. Bates

Oh. My. God.

The spectacle that was served up as a "debate" in a PRESIDENTIAL election last night only serves to illustrate the low to which this country has sunk. Nobody loves to analyze politics more than the olde Rumbear, but these "debates" are a joke. A comedy being played out for who?

Last nights staged and formatted debate was brought to you by CNN you know ...the Clinton News Network. Living up to there moniker CNN foisted questions upon the debatees from concerned uncommitted random voters. Concerned uncommitted random voters that included, a John Edwards supporter, an Obama supporter, an activist union drone who happens to support John Edwards and a card carrying retired Brigadier General asking questions about gays in the military who just happens to be a Hillary AND former John Kerry supporter presently serving on her Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual Steering Committee.

Yup, planted questions...who knew?!! Certainly not CNN. They are backpedaling fast. Michelle Malkin has the full story with all the details. Stephen Green sums it up this way "What we really saw tonight was CNN playing out its own agenda in front of a couple million viewers and seven or eight candidates, without anyone calling them on it."

Comedy...nobody ever said it was pretty....

UPDATE: Seems the olde Brig General was named recently in a press release as a"Co Chair" of Hillary's "Veterans and Military Retirees for Hillary Committee", but, of course, nobody at CNN knew......of course. Sure. Right.

Bbwwwhaaahaaaaa!

The Swimmer is gonna write a book. Yup, Ted "the Swimmer” Kennedy has signed a book deal with, no pun intended, Hachette Book Group USA, to pen his memoirs. You betcha!! I can’t wait to read about the late night swim with Mary Jo, the tryst with that waitress and Chris Dodd and let us not forget that famous photo of the rotund Ted “in flagrant delicto” on his boat off the coast with ?????. You remember.....that’s the photo that caused one senator to quip… “It would appear that Senator Kennedy has dropped his opposition to offshore drilling”.