Breast Cancer.   

 We here at the Chronicles are very concerned about this form of cancer.  That is why it pleases us to learn that a new study has shown some promise in the prevention thereof.  The University of California (Berkeley) has announced the results of a recent study. It seems that....well, I will let the good scientists explain....

Squeezing breasts 'can stop cancer'

 A little squeeze may be all that it takes to prevent malignant breast cells triggering cancer, research has shown.
Laboratory experiments showed that applying physical pressure to the cells guided them back to a normal growth pattern.
Scientists do not envisage fighting breast cancer with a new range of compression bras, but they believe the research provides clues that could lead to new treatments.

Who knew? Uh, um,......being sensitive guys, we here at the Chronicles call for further research on this form of treatment...studies, blind studies, double blind studies, group studies.....make it happen. Today. 

Do it for the children. (line forms behind, uh, me.)