Jack Bauer ism's

For you fellow fans of the Mega Hit show "24"

As a child, Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead...once.

Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way.

If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live.

When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.

Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off.

On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

When Jack Bauer turns on an Xbox the screen just says "You Win" and turns itself off again.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.