Deep Thoughts.... 


by Jack Handey.

On the other hand, we have different fingers.

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.

If you are a happy employee does that make you 'gruntled' ?

It takes a big man to cry. It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes, that way when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

Once I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came across a man who had no feet, so I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them.

Whatever doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Not lifting weights doesn't kill me. Therefore not lifting weights makes me stronger.

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part.

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, don’t even bother to bend over, because, man, they're gone.