Criminals For Gun Control

Yeah you read that right. Makes sense because well, here, I'll let them explain...

We, the members of the International Criminals Union, declare our position that all free and sovereign nations unite to ban the possession of firearms by law-abiding citizens.

It is our belief that our profession becomes more dangerous without strong and strict laws to regulate and prevent law-abiding citizens from possessing firearms. When only criminals and police can own a firearm our union's potential for growth will be unsurpassed.

The disarming of law-abiding citizens will allow our union to continue forth to the next generation with decreased risks of injury or our murder.

File under sad, but true.