Heading out to the desert for some R & R...Rum and Relaxation. Happy New Year to you and yours from all of us here at the Chronicles!

See you in 2009!!

Reminiscing

Misty water colored memories.....

Michigan!

Are you aware that Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan? The bastard nailed me with #30.

You know you're a true MICHIGANDER when…..

1. 'Vacation' means going up north on I-75.

2. You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer ….. more than once.

4. You often switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.

6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).

7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.

12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent.

13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.

14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

15. Down South to you means Ohio.16. A brat is something you eat.

17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn.

18. You go out to fish fry every Friday.

19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

21. You find 0 degrees 'a little chilly.'

22. You drink pop and bake with soda.

23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it's not medicine.24. You can actually drink Vernors without coughing.

25. You know what a Yooper is.

26. You think owning a Honda is Un-American.

27. You know that UP is a place, not a direction.

28. You know it's possible to live in a thumb.

29. You understand that when visiting Detroit , the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest.

30. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan

(Hat Tip to my sister...in Michigan!)

Public Service

Announcement

In our never ending attempt to provide useful information to YOU, the general public, and, well, to avoid ANY issues regarding the Fairness Doctrine, we here at the Chronicles occasionally set aside some valued space for helpful tips. So here's our contribution as we end 2008...

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

To avoid cutting yourself when chopping vegetables, get someone else to hold them while you chop.

To avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat, use the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember, use a timer!

A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40.

If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you have an electrical problem.

Your welcome.

(Hat Tip to Mikey!)

Me Want One!

Wing's Game...


I am outta here!!

Three Days!

WooooWhooooo!

Red Wings vs Black Hawks on New Years Day ....outdoors...at Wrigley Field.

Beats watching the TangerinePeachOrangeRosePointsettiaGatorCotton Bowels

Well, well...... What military aircraft are you? (click) F-16 Fighting Falcon You are an F-16. You love to flaunt your slick appearance, but aren't afraid to get your hands dirty, either. You can outmaneuver any of your contemporaries, and you possess a technological edge. And above all, you are a true showman.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

Day Late,

Dollar Short.....

Story of the Rumbear. How did I miss this one??? December 21, 2008?

Oh well, there's always next year.

Monday's Pun(s) !!!!

I once considered becoming a monk when I was young but I was cloisterphobic.

What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.

I always get lost driving on New Year's Eve. I blame the Old Lane Signs.

I don't think I was concentrating properly when midnight struck on January 1st 2009. It just went in one era and out the other.

GlowBall Warming,

Duh?!

I'm very puzzled by the nexus between the current downturn and concern about global warming. Given that we were told we had to immediately cut back on carbon emissions (even before sustainable alternative energies are in place), largely by curbing our lavish energy-dependent lifestyles, why then all the concern about stimuli and global depression? Surely, the world right now is sort of what the radical Gorists wanted to see, since the current cutback in gasoline usage, and general economic slowdown are radically restricting the burning of fossil fuels in a manner that even the most optimistic green utopian could hardly have envisioned just few years ago? In other words, in the booming 2004-6 years, radical suggested scale-backs would have probably led to something akin to what we are experiencing now? So why the gloom instead of headlines blaring—"The Planet Continues to Green—as Archaic Consumption Practices Erode Further!"

Me too. So what's up wit dat AlGore??

Caroline Schlossberg,
Senator???

Well Victor Davis Hanson has a view on this that the ole Rumbear takes to heart.

The putative Caroline Kennedy candidacy for senator has had the odd effect of reopening the media can of worms treatment of Gov. Palin. Compared to Sarah Palin's almost immediate immersion into crowds and public speaking, Kennedy seems like a deer in the headlights before the media that is either ignored or asked to submit written questions. Palin was a natural; Kennedy can't finish a single sentence without "You know" or "I mean." Palin's family saga and daily grind were populist to the core; Kennedy is a creature of a few blocks' radius in Manhattan and Martha's Vineyard.

Bottom line...she's a buffoon...yet, I mean that in a good way.

Me? I am still waiting for the Saturday Night Live skit on this......crickets....Tiny Fey? .......... more crickets...anyone?........ Bueller???

Oh, and I WANT a pony!!!!

Merry Christmas!

Here's a little Jeff Dunham & Achmed to brighten your day!

(The Rumbear Clan has tickets to see him on the 16th!!)

Merry Christmas to You & Yours

from all of us here at the Chronicles

Their Freezing Up in Buffalo

Stuck in Their Cars......

and I'm lying here neath the sun and the stars!

Ahhhh,

while AlGore flails and constantly expounds

the effects of GlowBall Warming are no where to be found

Slip sliding into the holidays!

GlowBall Warming Update #1672876

Flight Hazards !

Reading List 2008

So it's that time of year again where I share the reading list. Not quite as prolific as years past. Time has been a precious commodity here in 2008. Nonetheless, some good reads. I enjoyed "Beyond Band of Brothers" by Dick Winters. If you liked the "Band of Brothers" series this book will fill in the details. Currently reading "Traitor to His Class". Keeping FDR in perspective (i.e. Horses Butt) will be important as we enter the age of "O"

Parachute Infantry, An American Paratrooper's Memoir of D-Day By David K. Webster
How to Win & Keep Clients By Jennifer J. Rose
Beyond the Band of Brothers By Major Richard Winters
Liberal Fascism By Jonah Goldberg
Robert’s Rules for Dummies By C. Alan Jennings
To Do My Best, History of the Boy Scouts of America By James West
On My Honor By Gov. Rick Perry
To Be A US Air Force Pilot By Henry M. Holden
The Game By Ken Dryden
Cool It: The Skeptical Enviro Guide to Global Warming By Bjorn Lomborg
Devil Take the Hindmost: Hist. of Financial Speculation By Edward Chancellor
Traitor to His Class: The Privileged Life of FDR By H.W. Brands

Monday's Christmas Pun(s) !!!!

Ah! Christmas! The one day of the year we can all say our children are truly gifted!

Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem.

Someone has stated that the three phrases that best sum up the Christmas season are: "Peace on Earth", "Goodwill to Men" and "Batteries not included."

Bonus Humor.....a Gift of sorts!

Billy: How come you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive?
Tilly: Olive?

Billy: Yeah, you know... Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Chicago Politics ... Round Two

Yesterday, I pointed out some facts of note about Chicago Politics and the incestuous relationship of the players involved. Today this little puzzle piece popped up..

Blagojevich and Holder appeared together at a March 24, 2004, news conference to announce Holder's role as "special investigator to the Illinois Gaming Board" -- a post that was to pay Holder and his Washington, D.C. law firm up to $300,000.

Holder is Eric Holder, The O-Man's nominee for Attorney General. You know, the one that prosecuted olde Rosty in the House Banking scandal. Well it seems Mr. Holder forgot to mention his dealings with Blago on his questionnaire for the confirmation committee. Prolly just an "oversight", I mean he only made $300K on the deal.

but.....the O-Man knows nothing....

Okay. Now that we are having fun, here's another piece.

Recall, Rahm Emanuel was touting a name as the O-Man's pick to fill his seat. her name is Valerie Jarret. Who is she Rumbear? Well she is the gal that suddenly "withdrew" her name from consideration for the Senate seat after the now famous two hour teleconference with Blago and "undisclosed" individuals alleged to be on the O-man's team. She ran for the hills. She is currently the Chairman of Board of Trustees of the University of Chicago Medical Center.

Yeah, so what? Well let me axe you a question. For whom did Michelle Obama work prior to the O-Man's presidential run? Yup, University of Chicago Hospitals. Hired after the O-Man became a Senator back in 2006. Nice job, earned a salary of $273,618. Quid pro quo? I dunno, you tell me.

and Valerie...well, don't weep for her not getting the Senate gig. Luck be a lady, she found work in these trying times.

On November 14, 2008, President-elect Barack Obama selected Jarrett as White House Senior Advisor and Assistant to the President for Intergovernmental Relations and Public Liaison.[15] Jarrett will manage the White House Office of Public Liaison and work with state and local governments.

but.....the O-Man knows nothing....

Poor Bill Stickers

....is Rahm Emanuel next?

Silence of the Rahm


So you are the Chief of Staff of the One. Transition is steaming along with days to the inaguration. Big doings happening all around. Except nobody has heard from for a week or two.

Maybe this explains it...
Rumor???

President-elect Barack Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, is reportedly on 21 different taped conversations by the feds -- dealing with his boss' vacant Senate seat!

Oops...that'l get a prosecutor's attention. Prolly just talking bout Willis and the weather and you know, stuff like that.

Well here's some background for ya, a little primer in Chi Town Politics. Remember Dan "Rosty" Rostenkowski? He was the Chicago Congressman convicted in the House Banking scandal a few years back. Know who prosecuted him? Eric Holder, our new Attorney General nominee.

Wait, it gets better......

So Rosty gets the boot and a pesky Republican grabs his seat for a term. But Republicans in Chicago do not have a long shelf life so in the next election the seat is filled by the upstart Democrat, Rod Blagojevich. That's right, Congressman Blago!

Wait, it gets even better...

So Blago runs for Governor after his predecessor was, uh, umm, indicted. Blago wins! Who fills his seat?

Wait for it....

Rahm Emanuel.

Chicago politics.....yet, ObamalamDingDong knows nothing.

Yeah, right.

Dynamite For Sale!

Police acting on a warning Tuesday found a bundle of dynamite inside a Paris department store at the height of the Christmas season, and a group demanding that France withdraw from Afghanistan claimed responsibility.

Apparently this was not a regularly stocked item.

Lt. Dan.

Also known as Gary Sinise. He's a Great American. Congratulations.

Since war became a geographically distant but very real way of life after Sept. 11, 2001, no Hollywood star has stepped up to support active duty U.S. military personnel and wounded veterans like Gary Sinise. There is no close second. And quietly, as is his nature, he is becoming something akin to this generation´s Bob Hope.

One step in conferring this worthy title on the award-winning actor, director and producer occurred last week when President Bush bestowed on him the Presidential Citizens Medal, the second highest civilian honor awarded to citizens for exemplary deeds performed in service of the nation.

The Little Angel .....
on the Top of the Christmas Tree.

Sensitive folks that we are, all of us here at the Chronicles embrace the Holidaze. Sharing traditions the of Christmas. Here's one of the Rumbear's favorites. Gather round kids.....

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mom was coming to visit; this stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out at heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey.

When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hid the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffeepot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made of. More stress and frustration.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the tree.

Monday's Christmas
Pun(s) !!!!


What do reindeer say before they tell a joke? This will sleigh you.

What is Santa's primary language? North Polish.

What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses.


James Fenimore Cooper wrote about the life of Santa Claus. It is titled The Deer Sleigher.

Sugarcoated?

Nah, tell us what you really think Velociman. As Denny points out, The Acidman, (R.I.P.) used to say he was "...the best writer on the Web that no one read."

I've enjoyed watching the rightosphere gin up the Outrage Machine over the Blago the Terrible melodrama. And Beelzebama knows its been a rough year for conservatives. Having to rally 'round the execrable John McCain, and watching with stunned dubiety as a callow and inscrutable will o' the wisp materialized from the bowels of the most corrupt political snakepit in the Northern Hemisphere, there to ride triumphant upon the shoulders of an hypnotically credulous press to the greatest gig in the land, would give any conservative a horrid case of the marthambles.

I feel that pain. Aye, I've shared that particular distress, when one realizes a majority of one's fellow citizens are absolutely and irrevocably stupider than a bag of Chinese drop-forged bolts. Or venal. Or gullible. Or guilt-besodden......

Have some fun...go read the rest. Of course, he might be right.

Bailout!

The bailout for the Big 3, Chrysler, Ford and GM is not doing so well. Yes even after they parked their private jets at Teterboro and made like they drove all the way to Washington those pesky congress folks will not give them money.

Fact is most of the population sees this a a bailout of the unions and not much else. Toyota pay $43.00 per hour to a worker to make a car. The Big 3 pay $73.00 per hour for the same work. Why? Union benefits.

Bailing out a flawed process still leaves you with a flawed process....that will again fail.

Let the herd be culled...bankruptcy is the solution.

Potential riots...if it goes thru?

GlowBall Warming Update


New Orleans.

Snow.

Enuff said.

Carry on.

Cool Stuff!

You can solve a Rubik's Cube right? Of course you can. Can you program a LEGO Mindstorm robot to solve one.? Neither can I. Click here to learn. Call me when your done.

Under the Bus With You Hot Rod!

The One call's for Hot Rod to resign.....

Merry Fitzmas!!

Remember several years ago when the MSM's and the liberal nut roots we're wailing about Cheney being indicted by the U S Attorney from Chicago, Patrick Fitzgerald? Sure you do.

They wanted it to happen by Christmas. It was to be their gift. Fitzgerald was their patron saint, a savior, going to bring them deliverance from Bush/Hitler. He eventually indicted Scooter Libby for riding a three wheeler without a helmet or some other such nonsense. The libtards gathered and muttered a collective "WTF?" while crawling back under their rocks.

Not Fitzgerald though. Nobody turned him off. See he's a prosecutor. Being such, he needs to prosecute folks or get a real job. So, he did what all good prosecutor's do, started some more of them investigations. Yesterday, well looky here...... Governor of Illinois, Rod "Hot Rod" Blagojevich Arrested on Federal Charges!

The predawn rousting of Gov. Rod Blagojevich from his Ravenswood Manor home Tuesday marked a stunning climax to a tale of alleged public corruption unmatched in Illinois' storied history of elected scoundrels and thrust the state into an unprecedented political crisis.

Illinoisans awoke to news that their governor had been arrested, handcuffed and hauled before a federal magistrate on sweeping charges he conspired to sell his office many times over--including putting a price on the U.S. Senate seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.

Curse you Fitzgerald, you arrested a Democrat!!

And...

It just keeps getting better. Seems Hot Rod was peddling ObamalamaDingDong's olde Seneate seat. Cash credit card or cheque, come one, come all. Of course, denials are being issued everywhere. Nobody knows nothing.

Yeah, right.

Wonder what they are asking for Hillary's olde seat?

Ho, ho, ho!!

Back, to the Future!




Received this from several of the readers. Gotta get my order in!!

Dude, nice car!

Monday's Pun(s)!!!

When the man was shot with a BB gun the case ended up in a pellet court.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Now matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

December 7, 1941

Dawn.....350 planes, attacking in two waves, were determined to destroy America’s resolve along with her fleet, the envy of the world. When the finally settled 2,333 of America’s finest lay dead and 1,139 lay wounded in agony and disbelief.

Remember them today.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra vs Mannheim Steamroller

From Roger, The real king of France.

Sign Me Up!!!

(click for BIG!)

It's Aloha Friday..........

no work till Monday!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ...

Eagle projects, Open House at PLNPG, back yard retaining walls and at 6:30 am on Sunday morning I plan to be having coffee about 3 miles south-southwest of THAT point......Y'all have a GREAT weekend!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"

Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

Would You Like Juice With That?

You will have to wait 18 years! Bwhaaaaaa!

Karma reared her head in a Las Vegas Courtroom as unconvicted murderer O.J. Simpson was sentenced for his actions in the recent armed robbery case.

Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman remained unavailable for comment.

Karma, she can be a bitch.

Cool Stuff!

The new littoral combat ship USS Independence. (click for BIG!)

Murdoc has the details.

Kallyfornia

State of the State

VDH sums up the current circumstances here on the Left Coast.

I think the wretched state of California, now looking at a fiscal disaster of roughly a $20-30 billion annual shortfall, should be a wake-up call for the Obama administration. Whatever California is doing — please don't follow suit!

With proposed increases, we will have the highest sales taxes (ca. 9%) in the nation, the highest state income taxes (10+%), and probably the lowest thresholds to get into those top brackets — and yet only about 380,000 Californians pay 40% of the aggregate income tax revenue.

In exchange, our schools, roads, airports, hospitals, and police are, to use a euphemism, not competitive. The CSU campuses make up the largest university system in the world, with the largest unionized faculty, and yet nearly 50% of entering freshman must take mandatory remedial math and English courses. We don't utilize our ample energy, mineral, and timber resources, but instead depend on other states who do. Such an odd mix — we have sermons on our own greenness, but stealthy dependence on other less liberal producers to satisfy our insatiable appetites. (Thank god for moose-hunting Sarah Palin's Alaska and an assortment of Middle East authoritarians).

We have an enormously expensive, but incompetent government at all levels. It has a horrendously expensive bicameral Legislature, hundreds of boards and bureaus that serve as $100,000+ sinecures for political insiders and term-limited ex-politicians. Those with advanced degrees fly to our low- or no-income tax neighboring states, coupled with an influx of tens of thousands without high school diplomas. We have a political discourse that is polarized, self-censored, and completely framed by race, class, and gender agendas — reflecting the curricula of our high-schools, colleges, and universities. The electorate is as volatile as it is unhinged. One day it will vote billions of dollars in new bonds for massive new projects, the next it will vote to fund massive prison complexes for "3-strikes and you're out" prisoners, and on yet another it will vote to pass liberal feel-good nostrums that nullifiy what came before.

In short, the state is the left-wing version of Lehman Brothers.

Digital Revolution!

It's coming.....

YOU Stink!

According to that lovable guy, the Senate Majority Leader, Hairy Reid.

The Capitol Visitors Center, which opened this morning, may have tripled its original budget and fallen years behind schedule, but Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid found a silver lining for members of Congress: tourists won't offend them with their B.O. anymore.

"My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway," said Reid in his remarks. "In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

Umm...next time listen to your staff......

Festivus!

Yup, it's that time again. December 23rd.......Feel the love!!

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.
Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?
Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born: a

Festivus for the rest of us!

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

Yeah, it's Tuesday...what's your point?

When Caesar entered the Senate all hail broke loose.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

The harm caused by sibling rivalry is relative.

So Long, Gun Guy.

Kim du Toit has retired from blogging. Many thanks to the contributions and support over the years.