Uh, ummm.....  



Hat Tip to PROOF.

OMG!!!! 

I only have 30 minutes left to sign up for Obamacare! 

Said no one. 

Ever.

Heh, heh!

Monday's Pun(s) !!! 

My dog swallowed my engagement ring. I ended up with a diamond in the ruff.

I'd tell you a joke about a cow but I always butcher it.

There was a big paddle sale at the boat store. It was quite an oar deal.

Now, THAT Is a Goal!!!!

Concealed Carry....

 

Russia....

Color me...Impressed. 

Hey, You Scratched My Anchor!  

Opening Lines.....

What makes a great ad?  Grab your audience, they say. Hold their attention, they say. Mission accomplished.....

She has my support!

 


Ortonville....

The olde hometown is in the news......

Ed Note:  The Stoners? 

Monday's Pun(s) !!! 

The author in northwest Alaska used a pen name. It was a Nome de plume.

For relief during cosmetic surgery they use an aesthetic.

The Crimean cannibal loved Tatar tots.

Concealed Carry... 

 

Printing.....

Heh! 

 

Oldie but goodie.... 


Wait for it.

It's Aloha Friday....         

.....no work till Monday !!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....
 
It's a sailing weekend!  Ocean Racing on Saturday. 53 miles offshore on the good ship Windswept. CR 914 racing on Sunday at noon. Y'all have a great weekend!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....


"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"
Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

Putin Picks His Brackets! 


Taking time out from invading the free world, Russian President Vlad Putin appeared on ESPN to pick his choices for the March Madness brackets.

Wait, what?.....my bad. It was president Zero,Our Hero taking time out from his busy shedyule. Never mind.

Carry on....

 

Concealed Wha, Whut?!!



NORRIDGEWOCK, Maine (AP) — Police armed with assault rifles descended on a Maine man’s home after members of a tree removal crew he’d told to clear off his property reported that he had a gun.
Turns out the “gun” the tree crew had seen on Michael Smith of Norridgewock was just a life-sized tattoo of a handgun on his stomach.

Good thing he did not point a pop tart at those brave occifers.... The degree of stupidity on all levels is off the charts. Note that there is no reference in the article to his waiving, pointing, (impossible) brandishing, or otherwise threatening with this "gun". He simply "had a gun" ..... ON HIS PROPERTY. Last time I checked, that was not a crime.

To Protect & Serve.

Remember? 

That comment caught on an open mike?


Maybe then, is now....

VDH... 

If he is not on your must read list, well, shame on you. Victor Davis Hanson has a great article on the prevarications of Comrade Obammy. He hits this one....

Out. Of. The. Park.

‘This Is the Last Territorial Demand I Have to Make in Europe’

By Victor Davis Hanson

Vladimir Putin all but said the above yesterday, after annexing the Crimea — and promising to let alone the rest of the Ukraine. If we just insert Ukraine and Russia for Czechoslovakia and Germany, the following speech could easily be Putin’s:

(Berlin 1938 Moscow 2014)
Now I have tried during this time also gradually to bring about good and enduring relations with other nations.
We have given guarantees for the States in the West. We have guaranteed to all contiguous neighbors the inviolability of their territory so far as Germany Russia is concerned.
That is not a phrase — that is our sacred will.
We are not interested in breaking peace. We do not want anything from these peoples. It is a fact that these our offers were meeting with increasing acceptance and also growing understanding.
Slowly, more and more nations are departing from the idiotic delusion of Geneva; I should like to say, departing not from collective peace obligations but from collective war obligations.
They are withdrawing from them and they begin to see problems soberly and are ready for understanding and peace. . . .
Bitter as it may be for a few, in the last analysis the interest of the German Russian nation stands above all.
This interest, however, is: To be able to work in peace.
This whole activity, my fellow citizens, is not a phrase that cannot be proved, but instead this activity is demonstrated by facts which no political liar can remove.
Two problems remained.
Here I had to make a reservation.
Ten Several million of Germans Russians found themselves outside the Reich’s Russian Federation’s confines in two several large contiguous regions — Germans Russians who desired to come back into their homeland. This number of 10,000,000 several million is not a trifle…
Somewhere, my fellow countrymen, there is a limit — a limit where yielding must cease, because it would otherwise become a harmful weakness and I would have no right to maintain a place in German Russian history if I were simply to renounce 10,000,000 several million without caring about them. I would then have no moral right to be Fuehrer President of the German Russian people.
I have taken upon myself sufficient sacrifices in the way of renunciations. Here was a limit beyond which I could not go. How right this was has been proven, first by the plebiscite in Austria the Crimea; in fact, by the entire history of the reunion of Austria South Ossetia and Crimea with the Reich Russia. A glowing confession of faith was pronounced at that time — a confession such as others certainly had not hoped for.
A flaming testimony was given at that time, a declaration such as others surely had not hoped would be given.
It was then we saw that for democracies a plebiscite becomes superfluous or even obnoxious as soon as it does not produce results democracies hoped for.
Nevertheless this problem was solved to the happiness of the great German Russian people, and now we confront the last problem that must and shall be solved.
This is the last territorial demand I have to make in Europe, but it is a demand on which I will not yield.
I am thankful to Mr. Chamberlain Mr. Obama for all his trouble and I assured him that the German Russian people wants nothing but peace, but I also declared that I cannot go beyond the limits of our patience.
I further assured him and I repeat here that if this problem is solved, there will be no further territorial problems in Europe for Germany Russia.
And I further assured him that at the moment that Czechoslovakia Ukraine has solved her other problems, that is, when the Czechs Ukrainians have reconciled themselves with their other minorities, the Czech Ukrainian State no longer interests me and that, if you please, I give him the guarantee: We do not want any Czechs Ukrainians.
I now head the procession of my people as first soldier and behind me — may the world know this — there now matches a people and a different one than that of 1918 1989. . . . 

 
Earthquake!

To read the news all Californians are hiding under a desk somewhere.  Taint so, I didn't even feel the darn thing....



File Under: Meh.....

Jack's Back!

The TV show "24" is returning in May.  Details are trickling out....latest is that jack will have three CIA agents in his group. One will be Yvonne Strahovski. Who? Recall the TV show "Chuck"? Yeah....her. Strahotski...  

While you catch your breath, here are some Bauerisms for your edification.

As a child, Jack Bauer taught his dog to play dead...once.

Jack Bauer once arm wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Explosions do not kill Jack Bauer, they just get stuff out of his way.

If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

On a high school math test, Jack Bauer put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Jack Bauer solves all his problems with Violence.

...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live.

When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.

Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off.

On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

When Jack Bauer turns on an Xbox the screen just says "You Win" and turns itself off again.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.