Things That Make Ya Go .....

Submitted by a "frequent contributor" from his beach front fortress in South Florida....
Of course, I added a few because, well, I can.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up
to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

Speaking of which...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person.

The virtues of being punctual are largely offset by having to wait for people who aren't.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Assuming good judgment is earned through bad experience, the experts we
respect now were the idiots we laughed at yesterday.

A borrowed saw cuts anything.

You can hold their heads under water but you can't make them drink.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Forget world peace - Visualize using your turn signal.

It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.

I've learned that depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Sometimes a man meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.

Rest satisfied with doing well and leave others to talk of you as they please