Monday's Pun(s) !!!

Unfortunately, no one won the lemon eating contest. They all went home with a sour-taste in their mouth.

Put a piece of beef between two pieces of bread and you have a bull-only sandwich.

I hear the Sylvester Stallone Film Festival got off to a rocky start.

* Darth Tater, but youknew that!

Back in the Saddle..... Again!

We be back. I hope you had a safe and filling Thanksgiving. Our trip to the desert for three sunsets and a couple of sunrises was most enjoyable. Feasted on turkey and various other victuals. The mastication sensation having been sated we loaded up the SUV and stomped on the terra with our best carbon footprint boots dashing back to the coast!

A most enjoyable respite, indeed.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

to you and yours from all of us here at the Rumbear Chronicles.

Wheeeeeee!

Fiesty Little Buggers

It's Rocky the Frying Squirrel!

A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman's car yesterday, police said today.

Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey's car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home.

Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry.

"The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was," Tony Millar said. "The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car.

Act of terrorism? We report, you decide.

Today!

100 rounds is all we ask.

I bought mine!

Monday's Pun(s) !!!

Okay. I thru in a riddle cause it was, topical. Yeah, that's it topical!

He ate so much over the holidays that he decided to quit cold turkey.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.

A frightened bird dog that runs from everything is known as the Golden Retreater.

Illegal Aliens Lose Jobs?

Spotted this article over at AZCentral.com..

Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of undocumented workers have been fired as a result of Arizona businesses reviewing the work-eligibility forms of their employees as the state's new employer-sanctions law draws near.The fired workers couldn't provide missing information uncovered during the reviews or confessed to being in the country illegally, say attorneys involved in the reviews.

Well isn't that what the law was supposed to do? How novel!

Stages of Life

Just saying.

I Concur....

Great post up at the Munchkin Wrangler on why carrying a weapon is a good thing. Most eloquent, indeed.

Human beings only have two ways to deal with one another: reason and force. If you want me to do something for you, you have a choice of either convincing me via argument, or force me to do your bidding under threat of force. Every human interaction falls into one of those two categories, without exception. Reason or force, that's it.

When I carry a gun, I don't do so because I am looking for a fight, but because I'm looking to be left alone. The gun at my side means that I cannot be forced, only persuaded. I don't carry it because I'm afraid, but because it enables me to be unafraid. It doesn't limit the actions of those who would interact with me through reason, only the actions of those who would do so by force. It removes force from the equation...and that's why carrying a gun is a civilized act.

Thus, the only question remaining for those who would chose to interact with you or I through force, as opposed to reason, would be "Is he carrying today?". Reminds me of that line that Dirty Harry posited to the bad guy in a movie...Do you feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

DOOM!

Get ready. The latest load of tripe from the IPCC is about to land on your doorstep.

Big Game.

Ohio State at Meeechigan. Winner gets the Rose Bowl!

OhhowIh8ohiostate
a buckeye is a useless nutt

M ....................Go Blue!!

It's Aloha Friday...

...no work till Monday!!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

That’s right folks, Aloha Friday. We here at the Chronicles celebrate every Friday with the spirit of ALOHA. The main office is filled with Hawaiian shirts and a little background music courtesy of KPOA streaming in direct from Maui. Always remember that while you may not be in de islands the spirit of the islands can be in you…Aloha Fridays….. Have a great weekend!!

Doo de doo, de doo, de doo ....

"Get your island fix on the Internet with KPOA!"

Listen live to the island sounds from Maui!

Deebate!

Rumbear, Rumbear, Rumbear, there was a debate last nite! Did you watch it? What do you think?

Okay. Here's my answer, NO and Not Much.

As have said before the way to watch the debates is to log on to Vodka Boys website and enjoy the Liveblog.....with martini's! Here is Stephen Green's take on the debate:

Ultra-quick wrap-up: Lots of fireworks, yet still the worst debate I've seen all season. The blame rests squarely with CNN. They ran a bad debate on a bad stage with stupid questions from insipid people in a format that was neither fish nor fowl but spoiled meat nonetheless. Horrible, even by the low standards set by Fox News and MSNBC. Horrible, horrible.
No winners tonight, and anyone who just watched came out a loser. Horrible.
I want my two hours back, but I'm keeping the martinis in my gullet.
Man, that sucked.

Indubitably.

Wordsworth...

he ain't...is'nt?

Nope not him. The head coach of the Red Deer Rebels of the WHL was quoted after last nights stunning victory.

“We’ve played more road games than any team in the league and we’ve played damn well in most of them,” said Rebels coach Brian Sutter. “It wasn’t a pretty hockey game tonight, but it’s tough to win ugly, too.

Not a bad comment as your sports cliches go. If he had stopped yapping at that point the press would be gone and the beers could be cracked open. But he didn't.

“It’s like getting caught with the ugliest woman in Red Deer, standing on the street corner holding hands. That’s what tonight was like. But you know what? It takes balls to stand there and do that.”

Me thinks somebody needs to work a little on their sports cliches...just a bit. Oh, and maybe offer an apology to those ugly girls up in Red Deer. Or not.

Yup.

Hat Tip to Denny

Inconvenient Facts

(Click for larger)

We report, you decide.

Got it from here

Never Mind...

Hey kids, remember that plan to give illegal aliens drivers license' that New York Governor Elliot Spitzer introduced? You know that one that HILLarry stumbled and bumbled with at the last debate? Yeah...that one.

Well, it's gone.

Seems Gov Spitzer has thrown in the towel. Conceded defeat and pulled the plan from consideration.

Gosh Rumbear, why?! Go here and read the Main Stream Media take on why then come back for a few salient points from the Olde Bear. Gahead...I'll wait.

Okay, welcome back, oh enlightened ones.

Tenacious has always been Gov. Spitzer's middle name, but the beating he's taken over his plan to issue driver's licenses to illegal immigrants turned him into a timid tiger. He dropped the controversial plan with angry rhetoric saying political partisanship did him in.

Partisan politics....hmmm?

The pressure on Gov. Spitzer to drop his license plan was intense. Republicans clobbered him with it and the spillover effect hurt Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign. It even angered members of Spitzer's own party, still the governor didn't go quietly.

Did you see it? I even highlighted it for you.

As to those points...there is a Democratic debate tomorrow night, do you think Hillarry wanted to be exposed to any follow-up questions as to her perfectly opaque position on this issue? Me either. I'm betting ole BJ Billy was on the telephone to Elliot laying down the law according to Clinton within days of that last debate.

But you said "points" Rumbear...Well, let's look at when the plan would have taken effect. May 2008 was reported to be the projected implementation date. Do you think Hillarry wanted this little gremlin popping up in May with five months to go in the Presidential race. (Remember she is on record supporting it.) Five long months of being hammered on an issue that 80% of Americans are against. No way, pardon the pun, Jose.

So we have the plan dropped. Wolf Blitzer dare not mention it. To bad so sad, nothing here, move along. As Emily Litella used to say, "Oh!, Never Mind."

Fly Me to the Moon!!

This was fun! I was perusing an article about airlines in Austrailia being urged to implement a "fat tax" on passenger that are, shall we say, larger than the average bear. Being a somewhat calorically challenged fellow I read on with interest to see how those noble folks downunder wuld deal with teh matter.

I learned :

Recent studies estimate that 67% of Australian men and over half of women aged over 25 are overweight or obese. Experts have warned that by 2030 half of the country's children will be overweight or obese if the problem goes unchecked.

67%!! I thought the olde US of A had the biggest percentage of plus sized folks. 67% wow. So I read on. There was the usual blather about how it would impact the self esteem of the larger passengers.....and I eagerly read on looking fro the suggestion that maybe bigger seats were in order. Nope.

Dr Tickell, a leading nutritionist and author, told the BBC that society should take a more hardline stance against obesity and get tough on fat airline passengers.
He said that Australian airlines should impose charges on their overweight clients, as they do for excess baggage, because heavier loads increase fuel costs.

So, I got to wondering, what is normal? Who gets to say YOU pay the fat tax and YOU, you handsome devil, do not have too? How about a reduced faire for skinny folks? Maybe even a “weight credit” that they could sell. You know like them carbon credit thingys that are all the rage these days. Simply have one of your skinny friends go on a diet for you and then purchase their “Weight Credit”. But, I digress…..

So I read on and then I hit this…

Dr Tickell said it was important to start highlighting Australia's obesity crisis.
"I think we're a bit too nice, we're a bit too precious about minority groups. I think the majority group must have something to say too," he added.

“I think the majority group must have something to say too” I had to read the opening paragraphs of the article again…67% are overweight or obese, yup correctamundo. That’s what it says. Now, I am not a mathematician, but the last time I took a math class 67% WAS THE MAJORITY!

What we have here is a whiny, undernourished liberal doctor/nutritionist looking to the gubberment to solve his problems. A problem that is, well, not a problem, for the majority of the country.

Move over skinny and pass the peanuts…………

Yes, I Know.

Real Genius