Tuesday, October 31, 2006
from the latest man who coulda/woulda/shoulda been President. That's right,the poofter from Boston, has opened trap and inserted foot, again.
“You know, education, if you make the most of it, if you study hard and you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, uh, you, you can do well. If you don’t, you get stuck in Iraq.”
John "i served in Viet Nam" Kerry.
How generous of the man to once again confirm that the voters made an excellant choice in the last presidential election. Bonus points for doing this less than a week prior to the current election. Truly a gold nugget.
Great quote from an "un-named" Demcratic Congressman about JFK and his foot in mouth problem:
"I guess Kerry wasn't content blowing 2004, now he wants to blow 2006, too."
Monday, October 30, 2006
What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-lantern by it's circumference? Pumpkin Pi.
What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his exorcist? He was repossessed.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash
Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.
When she told me I was average, she was just being mean.
A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the lavatory equipment. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam"
Great song by Beccy Cole. Click. It's Worth a listen. We get the Ditzy Chicks and the get Aussie's this.
"If unlike me you feel no pride at all, then go ahead and take me off your wall. I prefer to be a poster girl on the wrong side of the world."
Support those troops. Everyday.
Friday, October 27, 2006
"Boat drinks! The boys in the band ordered boat drinks......."
Jimmy Buffet concert last night! Took the E-Ticket ride to Margaritaville and consumed copious quantities of "adult beverages". Great concert, good time. Let the recovery begin.....
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Yup, you read that right. Achievement. Do you think the current status of the economy just "happened" on it's own? David Drier writes in the latest Christian Science Monitor about the record with the GOP in power.
In an election season as rancorous as this one, it can be difficult, if not impossible, to discern the truth. Attack ads and dramatic prognostications tend to obscure reality.
Here are some hard facts that have received little attention: In the past year alone, job creation is up, the unemployment rate is down, the stock market is up - way up, gas prices are down and continuing to drop, real average weekly income is up, and the federal deficit is down dramatically. This is all very good news for you, your family, and your future.
Did all of this good news happen by accident? Of course not. It's the result of growth- oriented economic policies put in place by the Republican Congress and President Bush. In 2001 and 2003, with minimal support from Democrats, we approved major tax relief for families, investors, and small-business owners. That tax relief has paid off. Since August 2003, they have helped create 6.6 million jobs and fueled a 31 percent increase in the value of the blue-chip stock market. They have also driven down the federal deficit, thanks to increased revenues to the federal treasury, which were 14.5 percent higher in 2005 from the year before and 11.8 percent higher in 2006.
Very good news, indeed. Let's help the Democrats snatch a defeat from the jaws of victory in November. They have earned it.
Find the Republican in your area and vote for them. As they say in New Orleans....."Laissez les bons temps rouler"!
(Let the Good Times Roll!)
Bush Approves 700-Mile ‘Concept Fence’ at Border
by Scott Ott
(2006-10-26) — President George Bush today signed into law a bill that authorizes a 700-mile long “concept fence” on the U.S.-Mexico border.
The concept fence, a project approved but not funded by Congress, is similar to a concept car, administration officials said. According to an unnamed bill sponsor, “The concept fence is an insurmoutable barrier that will shut off the steady, daily flow of illegal aliens invading our country to take our jobs, boost our crime rate, burden our social welfare system and potentially bear contagious diseases or weapons of mass destruction. The concept fence is impossibly high, supercharged with 1.21 jigowatts of electricity, and each mile is guarded by a battalion of National Guard troops and a squadron of A-10 Warthog fighter jets.”
Boy, that'll teach em!
Shamelessly borrowed from Scrappleface.....go there for the rest of the story.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Fins to the Left, Fins to Right.......
My baby got us tickets and the countdown is on....time to Mapquest "Magaritaville" and hit the road. Jimmy B is coming to town!
"I ran into a chum with a bottle of rum and we wound up drinking all night"
1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You can't remember . . . is pot illegal?
9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.
12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
13. You can't remember . . .is pot illegal?
14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH."
15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.
16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????
18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
19. The Terminator is your governor.
20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.
Monday, October 23, 2006
I am clever, and often come up with intelligent and funny comebacks to other people's stupid remarks.
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A mere 4 days ago your humble scribe heard the sound. Today in the Wall Street Journal John Fund has an in depth discussion of why lawyers have come to love elections. The Hotline joke is worthy of quoting:
Everyone is speculating about which party will control Congress after next month's voting. But we may not know for a while. We could see either party pursue the kind of lawsuits that Al Gore unleashed in Florida in 2000 and contest any number of tight races that are within the "margin of litigation." Recounts and even seating challenges in Congress could stretch on for weeks--another endless election. "We're waiting for the day that pols can cut out the middleman and settle all elections in court," jokes the political newsletter Hotline.
Listen to rustling in the wind....that's the sound of multi-paged complaints being prepared!
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
Without geometry, life is pointless.
If a wolf can take down a deer from either flank, does that make him bambidextrous?
Saturday, October 21, 2006
An unnamed Democratic staffer has been denied further access to classified information while an investigation delves into the source of the leak of parts of the National Intelligence Estimate to the New York Times several weeks ago. Seems the staffer received the document on September 21st….two days prior to the New York Times article. Merely a coincidence, I’m sure.
Jane Harmon the leading Democrat on the committee has demanded the immediate re-instatement of the staffer’s privileges. However, Jane has her own problems as the FBI looks in to some shenanigans about how she is holding on to her post.
Seems the House Intelligence Committee is full of intrigue of late. The backrooms are active and the dirty deals are afoot. Standing in the wings waiting for the Democrats to take control of the House in November is every Democrats favorite crooked judge, Alcee Hasting (D) Fla. The word is that his Dis-Honor has cut a deal with future speaker Nancy Pelosi to assume the Chair of the Intelligence Committee when she comes to power in November. You all remember Alcee don’t you? Here’s a snippet from his “bio”
In 1989, Hastings was impeached by the U.S. House of Representatives for corruption and perjury. The Democratic-controlled Senate convicted Judge Hastings of accepting a $150,000 bribe in 1981 in exchange for a lenient sentence and committing numerous acts of perjury at his own trial. He became only the sixth Judge in the history of impeachment in the United States to be removed from office by the United States Senate.
His impeachment was remanded back to the Senate by Judge Stanley Sporkin for procedural reasons, but the Supreme Court ruled in a similar case, regarding Judge Walter Nixon, who had also been impeached and removed, that the courts had no jurisdiction to review Senate impeachment procedures. Hastings' case was dismissed, and his impeachment and removal remained valid.
The Senate had the option to forbid Hastings from ever seeking federal office again when it removed him, but did not do so.
And like a bad smell, he came back. Now he’s gonna run the Intelligence Committee. This is what were staring at. You think Bush sucks? Trust the Democrats to shatter your definition. This should be a wake up call to you stay at home Republicans out there. As my old Political Science professor use to say “Doing nothing IS doing something.” Republicans that stay home on November 7th will be doing something and the outcome will not be good. Watch out for those Oxy Morons.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Latest numbers in the Connecticut U. S. Senate race indicate that Joey Lieberman (I) for senate is holding a 17 point lead over the Democrat favorite, Ned Lament. Run, Joey run! This is the seat that the left was using a s a showcase for change. They threw Lieberman out for supporting President Bush on the war. Lament was the bees knees. Well, that swansong did'nt last long. I do not agree with Senator Lieberman on most things. However, he handles himself as the consumate politition whereby it is okay to disagree and still maintain a semblance of dignity. The Democrats need more like him. Come to think about it, both sides need more like him.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Lawyers in Love……..
If you cup your hand to your ear you can hear the distant sound of papers rustling in the wind……hear it? Those are the lawsuits being prepared as you read this. Lawsuits being drafted by lawyers for the Democratic candidates. As November 7th approaches that sound will reach a crescendo. Lawsuits will be filed for the poor, downtrodden, unfortunate Democrat that did not garner enough votes to “win” his election. Cries of “Voter Fraud!” “My Chad Was Left a Dangling” and that all time favorite “I’ve Been Disenfranchised!” will accompany the early filings at the court clerks office from sea to, ahem, shining sea.
The basis for these suits is being sown now. Every day we are bombarded with stories from the MSM about the latest poll showing the Democrat in (insert your local race here) is so FAR ahead. They can’t lose! Nancy Pelosi has a 100-hour plan and is picking out curtains for her new Speakers office. There is simply no way that Democrats can lose. So let me ask, what happens when they do? Enter the lawyers. File them suits boys. Yeeahhah!, to paraphrase Mr. Dean. Look at the poll data, the surveys, the pundits, and the new curtains…. only one conclusion can be reached …Those Republicans stole the election! Oh, the humanity. Judge, this wrong MUST be corrected.
Mark my words folks. The seeds are planted and maturing nicely. The lawsuits are a coming. Lawyers in love.......Buy stock in your favorite paper company today.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Got my tickets and heading to the Honda Ponda!
UPDATE: Spanked by the ...Ducks? That's right, the Wings apparently decided to play the entire game a man short just to make it "sporting". They lost. So much for that game plan. Next up, the Sharks tonight from the Tank in San Jose.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Classical Values has a good piece today on voting and being tired of holding your nose. The money line is:
“I have long been disgusted with the Republicans -- so much so that I'm almost tired of holding my nose when I go to the polls. Yet I plan to vote for them again, despite my disgust.”
Maybe it’s not just a matter of the Republicans never getting better, it’s that the Democrats keep getting worse. While there are many reasons to vote against Republicans, one cannot hesitate to look at the alternative. Let’s peruse some choices… John Kerry. Oh please, did anyone vote for him because he was “The Man”. The guy is a flake. More worried about his next photo op than delving into substance. Ditto Al Gore. This is the best you have to offer? The hold your nose voters went Republican.
Then we come out to California. The land where political theory goes out the window. We have that master of straddling the issue, Ahrnold S. Soundly defeated in the referendum battle last year. Forced to cut his losses and seek compromise with the left led legislature. A year of conciliation. Prime for defeat and and, and who do the Democrats put up? Phil “I’m Gonna Raise YOUR Taxes” Angelides. Good Lord. Even the LA Times, who went out of its way to trash Ahrnold in the recall election has endorsed….Ahrnold! Big Libs in Hollywood are donating to the Governator. While one might think this proves that Democrats do have a sense of smell, fear not, the ability to hold their nose in other races and vote the ticket remains intact. Actually, I think that the ability to manipulate the devil in office is appealing to them. Certainly, more appealing than paying more taxes!.
So let’s glance down the ticket. You don’t have to look far. Here’s the vast array of “choices” offered to the Democratic California voter this year.
Running for: Governator
Current: Lt. Governor
Running for: Insurance Commissioner
Current: Insurance Commissioner
Running for: Lt Governor
Current: Attorney General
Running for: Treasurer
And, last but certainly not least, the guy with more political lives than a cat.
Current: Mayor of Oakland / Ex Governator
Running for: Attorney General
Political Musical Chairs. I want to know who chaired the meeting when each of these "career" politicians (re-treads?) was assigned the office to run for. What did they do, draw straws?! Be that as it may, the Dems are ahead in the polls and all of the above will get to play shuffle the office furniture. Except Phil, he will be un-employed, but not for long.......with all these friends. No sense of smell problems here. Just vote em in!
There are some good choices on the Republican side. So in the true spirit of “if ya can’t beat em, join em” I’m gonna hold my nose and vote …..Republican. I just can’t stomach the alternative. Of course, being a pragmatic Republican, I will wear a nose plug. Get yours today.
Monday, October 16, 2006
(Whooooo....plural not singular!)
I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Two silkworms were in a race. They ended up in a tie.
Friday, October 13, 2006
As the son of a Bush Pilot (that’s a good thing, I think.) I have been on a mission reading books on the topic these past few months. Well, eight books to be precise. I have found Flying the Alaska Wild by Mort Mason and Success on the Step, Flying with Kenmore Air by C. Marin Faure to be of note. The first is a real life story with a ton of seat of the pants flying tales. The second is the story of Kenmore Air Service in Seattle. They are both great reads. Not good, GREAT. The Kenmore story has subtle overlays for the entrepreneur/businessman that might be of interest to you small bizness owners out there. As Joe Bob says: “Check em out” if you get the chance.
"One Particular Harbor".......
It's Aloha Friday and I'm thinking about that "One Particular Harbor".......
Thursday, October 12, 2006
as recorded in my Memoirs, "Raising Smart Asses":
I was leaving the federal jail earlier this week right here in Anytown, USA. I am ALWAYS nervous in the place. I don't do criminal law, but a client has found his way in there. But, I digress…. Me? Very nervous. As I am walking out, I have to retrieve my ID from the guard behind the bullet-proof glass. He starts yapping at me through the glass. "You look just like that guy"! I can barely hear him thru the glass. I say "Huh?" He repeats himself. I hear it. Uh oh. This would qualify as a statement you don't want to hear when your:
1. with a group discussing the guy who ran off with their 13 year old cousin,
2. in a police line up,
3. leaving a prison.
As my blood pressure spiked, the guy behind the glass opens the microphone and says to the guard behind me, "Look at him, he looks just like that COMEDIAN guy!" Being a handsome, worldly barrister and man about town, I suavely reply, again, "Huh?!" As I glance at the guard behind me he says "Yeah that Bill Engvall guy." My mind is confused, however, my blood pressure is dropping as I realize that (a) I have not wet myself and (b) probably won't be arrested. This is a good thing. I laugh, well, perhaps a friendly chuckle, as they continue to compare me to Bill. "I'll bet you get that all the time!" says the glass man as he hands me my drivers’ license. One last chuckle and a nod of the head for effect and I proceed through the large double lock doors.
Let. Me. Out!
As the large, heavy, doors slam solidly behind me, I walk briskly to my car. Bill Engvall, indeed. Today will be an early martini day. Maybe two.....
I said it first. After furtive moments of reflection, I must announce that I will not be running for president in 2008.
Now everybody wants in on the action. Having said that, could someone tell me who the hell Mark Warner is? Bonus points for why I should care.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
James Bond once slept right through an earthquake.
He was shaken; not stirred.
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter,with trembling hands.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion... Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, your son,
P. S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.
Saturday, October 07, 2006
Well, well, well, it seems the economic news is pretty darn good. Funny ya have not heard anything about this from the Main Stream Media. Well, okay, not really, given their agenda. Over at Back Talk the topic is discussed with charts and graphs. Here's the kicker:
GDP growth is strong, productivity is way up, unemployment is low, family incomes are rising, inflation is down, the stock market is up, and the federal deficit is down. Yet polls show that we are about to put more Democrats into both the House and the Senate. That should fix all of these economic problems, real quick.
Oh, and Nancy Pelosi is gonna "clean house"....that paints a picture.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Thursday, October 05, 2006
18 years old..... EIGHTEEN years old! The Page had reached the "age of consent" when the scandalous Instant Messaging occurred......and ABC knew it when they broke the story. Foley, maybe he's just a simple pervert? Move on folks, nothing left to see here. Move along.
The next scandal will break tommorow around 5:00pm EST...Move along.......
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
So we have a Republican house member who seems to have a propensity for chasing pages around the Capital. A truly disgusting deed. Caught with his, er, pants down, he enters a rehab clinic stating he's an alcholic. Cause apparently that's the "right thing to do" when you have a problem. Unfortunately, Mr. Foley does not have a drinking probelm. What he has is a who is he drinking with problem. Best of luck to him in the treatment for his "drinking problem", just tell me when he is going to get some help with his "chasing boys around the Capital" problem".
Of course, the DemonCrats are howling about failed leadership...Hastert must go!....yada, yada, yada. I, however, note that the tenor of their protestations seem to be somewhat , shall we say, lacking. Causes me to wonder how many other "open secrets" there are in ole Foggy Bottom. Remember not to long ago the DemonCrats were barking about Jack Abramoff until someone pointed out that many of them had taken some of Jack's cash. Mention Abramoff now and you get a hearty "No Comment" from the distinguished DemonCrats. How long until we hear the plantive "No Comments" in the Foley matter.
I just don't see this issue getting any traction as an election item, yet. Hastert should stay the course and let the ill wind blow, for now.
Update 10/4/06 Still looking for traction?
The Washington Post today has an in depth look at escapades of the political kind.
In recent years, for the most part, Democrats have been able to survive their sordid escapades while Republicans have paid with their political lives…
That’s how it usually turns out for members of the conservative, traditional-family-values party. Just ask Bob Livingston, Jack Ryan, Bob Packwood, Dan Crane or others in the GOP who’ve watched their careers go pffft! with salacious disclosures. Or ask Bill Clinton, Gerry Studds, Barney Frank and other Democrats who’ve withstood embarrassing revelations to govern another day…
“The reality is that Democrats seem to get away with more,” says Chuck Todd, editor in chief of the Hotline, a daily political journal. “They can have an affair and bail [themselves] out. There’s a lower threshold for Republicans. I guess it’s more of a hypocrisy thing,” he adds, because such scandals put Republicans at odds with the party’s socially conservative image.
Todd thinks he knows who’s to blame for this: “It’s the media, to be honest. What is the standard ‘gotcha’ story in the media? It’s hypocrisy. If we can prove hypocrisy, we have a story. . . . So in a sex scandal, the bar for Republicans is lower.”
or higher...depending on your perspective.
Monday, October 02, 2006
His name and face keep popping up front and center. He is a spokesman for, oh, pick a topic. The most inept human to ever inhabit the oval office just won’t go away. No not Clinton, Jimmy Carter. The EuropePeons love him. In France he is a distinguished guest. Say no more. This week Victor Davis Hanson skewers this rube with a great piece.
Such a sad fellow, this Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Carter, the subject of the last blog, almost immediately was back in the news claiming that the United States was one of the world’s great abusers of civil rights (I wonder how our internecine body count in Plains, Georgia stacks up with that in Rwanda, Kosovo, or Dafur?). He adds that all Presidents—except the current one—have been supporters of human rights.
In his dotage, Carter is proving once again that he is as malicious and mean-spirited a public figure as he is historically ignorant. And for all his sanctimonious Christian veneer, and fly-fishing, ‘aw shucks blue-jeans image, he can’t hide an essentially ungracious and unkind soul.
Remember Carter’s efforts?
He wept for the middle class, but adopted policies that led to double-digit interest rates and inflation, ensuring that only the upscale could borrow for a house or ensure their salaries would keep up with the cost of living. No need to mention his energy policy or gas lines.
Remember the genesis of the Great Satan?
Carter’s Waterloo, of course was the Iranian hostage crisis. It was not just that his gutting of the military helped to explain the rescue disaster. Far more importantly, we can chart the rise of radical political Islam with the storming of the American embassy in Teheran and the impotent response of Jimmy Carter.
Long before George Bush was elected to anything, crowds in Teheran gave us the genesis of the Great Satan and “Death to Carter”. Does he remember that so great was the Iranian Islamist hatred of him, that Iran deliberately delayed the brokered release of the hostages until he was out of office—a lesson that appeasement wins contempt as the additional wage of its failure.
Way to go JIMMAH! Why do we listen to the opinion of this proven fool?
Go here for the rest
or buy the book “The Real Jimmy Carter” by Steven F. Hayward
Here's one for all you psuedo golfers out there. Watch out for the 17th & 18th holes!!
My friend Max hates going up steep hills.He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.
I had a nightmare that I was in Panama during a snowstorm. I was dreaming of a white isthmus.